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Mina
Mina, Clinical Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 188
Experience:  Working as a Highly Specialist Clinical Psychologist in NHS. Experience in both children and adults
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My son is living in Harlow England. He refuses to go to NHS

Customer Question

My son ILKE KAHVECIOGLU, is living in Harlow Essex England.
Three years ago we found out that he was escaping from social life, he isolated himself from friends and tries to live alone... After many efforts, he went to Psychiatrist in Cyprus. This doctor told us that the symptoms indicate the illnesses of “Psychosis and / or Bipolar disorder”
He gave him “Zyprexa” first and after “Rexapin”... He only used this medication for some weeks and he refused to continue... He never admit that he need help.
Last year he left London since it’s very crowded and started to stay in Harlow... After many attempts he accepted to go to Turkey for treatment... We brought him to Turkey twice... Psychiatrist Prof. Tarik Yilmaz started new medication for him...
He started to receive Risperdal 2 mg., Lustral 50 mg. Ursofalk 135 mg. and Rexapin 5 mg.
During last year he was taking this medicine but about three month ago he stopped all medication. He doesn’t admit to go and see his doctor (Turkey or Cyprus) Also, we couldn’t convince him to receive help from Psychiatrist here in England...
Some additional points about his recent situation:
a)      He choose Harlow since it’s silent. He is very unhappy to drive in heavy traffic, to shop in supermarket, to be out in rush hours...
b)      He isolated himself from friends and family... He doesn’t want to cooperate or even speak to someone...
c)      In his house in Harlow he wants to stay in his room and not to go even to a toilet...
d)      He installed lights in his garden, mirrors and security cameras...
e)      He was not practical man, but in Harlow he started to do some garden work ...
f)       He doesn’t sleep all over the night... Sleep disorders
g)      He prefers to make all his shopping via Internet instead to go shopping and talk or cooperate or speak to someone...
h)      He doesn’t want to fly, or take a train since they are too crowded...
My question is;
How can I bring him to the hospital or doctor? Is there any mechanism that health people can come to his house and bring him to the hospital?
Now he is out of medication? What can I do?

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Mina replied 3 years ago.
Hello and thank you for contacting us.

I am sorry to hear about your difficult situation. I can imagine your concern. However, I am afraid that since I presume he is an adult, he needs to visit his GP himself in order to access any NHS treatment. Your abilities have limits as GP's would not and could not assess him or treat him without seeing him. This is also partially because it is believed that an adult needs to take the responsibility of taking after themselves and seek help when they realise that they need it.

You mentioned that he was diagnosed in Turkey. The circumstances of his assessment (e.g. how long he spent there, his experience of his stay, any drug use) could have affected an assessment and it would be wise to have a second opinion on this in UK after resuming his normal life. You may want to tell him that if there is a chance that he suffers from bipolar disorder it would be best to confirm this and be properly assessed than holding on to a diagnosis which could be inaccurate. This would give him the opportunity to talk about his issues, his symptoms and difficulties and receive possibly proper medication that would stabilise his mood. Bipolar disorder is quite common and there is effective medication for this.

It may be possible that he is afraid to open up and face his difficulties. However, the sooner he addresses them, the sooner he would be able to continue with his life. It would be best if you could maintain a supportive role for him and listen to his concerns. He will possibly need you more especially during his "low" phases and this could be your chance to convince him to visit his GP. If he has any close friends or relatives that he trusts, they could encourage him to go with him to the appointment and to possibly share some of their concerns with him.

At the end, he will seek help when he feels that he is ready for this and whe nhe realises that he needs it. Despite your love and concern I am afraid that you cannot make this decision for him.

I do hope that he will accept to have an assessment by his GP. Afterall, if the GP confirms that he does have Bipolar, he will not be pressurised to take medication if he does not want to. But at least he would know for sure if this diagnosis is accurate. Therefore he has nothing to lose in reality and can still keep control of the situation. Using such arguments and telling him that he will have control of the situation anyhow, may convince him to attend an appointment. Try and keep an open channel of communication with him and avoid pressurising him. Encourage him to open up to you while you only listen to his concerns and his fears. Show empathy and just be available for him.

I am hopeful that he will soon decide what is best for him. He may need a bit more time and patience on your behalf as well as your support.

I hope that everything works out well for him

All the best

Mina
Mina, Clinical Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 188
Experience: Working as a Highly Specialist Clinical Psychologist in NHS. Experience in both children and adults
Mina and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Mina replied 3 years ago.
To answer your question fully I would also like to add that the only way for a person to be admitted to hospital against their will is only if they present with significant risk to themselves or others. From your description, it does not sound that this is the case.

However, another thing that I could suggest to you is that you possibly arranged privately for a Psychiatrist to come and visit him at home and perform an assessment. It would be very important for your son to have continues monitoring here in UK as he would need to slowly build his trust to UK psychiatrists.

Let me know if I have answered your questions

Thank you

Mina
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you Mina for your excellent informative answer...

 

Let me tell you that recently I received two mails from my son which tells me that he has very negative thoughts about some of his neighbours... He mentioned some names of his neighbours (I don't know them) and he said he wanted to kill them...

 

Is it dangerous? Is it serious? Another thing is that he said that he is very happy in his last mail... (Today) He is out of job, always staying at home, he do nothing and he said he is very happy... Is that indicates that he may kill himself? He is not sending regular mails to me... But last two days he sent and this makes me much worried...

 

Can you comment on this?

 

Thank you so much

Hasan K.

 

 

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

You replied

Sunday, October 17, 2010 4:52 PM EST

Thank you Mina for your excellent informative answer...

 

Let me tell you that recently I received two mails from my son which tells me that he has very negative thoughts about some of his neighbours... He mentioned some names of his neighbours (I don't know them) and he said he wanted to kill them...

 

Is it dangerous? Is it serious? Another thing is that he said that he is very happy in his last mail... (Today) He is out of job, always staying at home, he do nothing and he said he is very happy... Is that indicates that he may kill himself? He is not sending regular mails to me... But last two days he sent and this makes me much worried...

 

Can you comment on this?

 

Thank you so much

Hasan K.

Expert:  Mina replied 3 years ago.
Hello,

the threat about killing his neighbours may be serious but it would be difficult to know if he means it and in what context he wrote it. It could indicate some paranoid ideation which could be a symptom of psychosis. Again the risk would need to be assessed by a psychiatrist. The other information about him being happy, I can't say that this necessarily indicates that he is contemplating killing himself. Again you would need to look into why he sent these emails and whether this is a cry for help. I would definitely suggest that you and another close family member or friend of his visited him to see for yourself the conditions that he is living with. If he does present with psychotic symptoms, which is very likely, then he definitely needs treatment. I would encourage you to find a private psychiatrist and visited him together. Also, if you feel that at any point he is at risk, the other option is for you to call the police and alert them about the danger. They are very good in these situations and they can prove to be a great help in starting the procedures for admission. If they did suspect that your son was at risk they would most likely take him to a hospital A&E first for an urgent psychiatric assessment. However, I would rather try first with your own psychiatrist who would be in a better position to help.

You need to take some action here I am afraid as you son is in need of help. If it is psychosis, it may be difficult for him to request help as he may be unsure of what he is experiencing. Therefore, you need to find some support (family,friends) and together organise a form of intervention that would involve a psychiatrist's visit and assessment.

I hope that helps

I wish you all the best in your efforts


Mina

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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
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