Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing. We are not affiliated with Dr. Phil, but perhaps I can offer some help. It does sound as if your friend has been enabling his adult son. These enabling behaviors, while they may come from a wish to help, are hurtful rather than helpful.
It is important for you to realize that your friend may have a great deal of guilt related to his son that may be causing his enabling behaviors. Unless he forgives himself for any part he feels he had in the issues, he may not be able to stop enabling. You may want to discuss this issue together in such a way where you support his love for his son while you encourage him to begin to see how his interactions with him may be enabling his unhealthy behaviors. Expecting him to behave as a responsible adult, home is not cruel, it is healthy for him. It is important though that your approach does not put your friend in a position where he feels that he has to choose between the two of you, unless this is how you feel. It would also be very reasonable for him to require his son to be in treatment in order to continue to live in his home and also to be actively looking for work or working. If he refuses, there are shelters and other options available. However, you are not in a position to enforce this, and will have to decide if you can accept the decision that your friend makes.
I wish you good luck with this difficult decision. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.
Can you suggest a homeless shelter in the Phoenix area that will accept walk-ins?
You might try the following:
I hope these are helpful. I wish you the best.