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Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
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Last weekend my fianc e lied about going to a (male/female)

Resolved Question:

Last weekend my fiancée lied about going to a (male/female) sex toy party with bunch of her old jr High friends from the 80s She is in Nebraska and I am in San Diego. Her girlfriend posted a group photo and my fiancée was sitting on a guys knee. She said she just sat there for group photo. How worried should I be? she said she did not tell me to avoid a fight
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.

 

Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.

 

I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing in your relationship. Some people lie in order to get away with things and others lie in order to avoid conflict, or not to hurt someone, etc. It is important to evaluate what her motives may have been for this lie and whether there is a pattern of her lying to you, or if this is unusual behavior. In general, does she do what she says and is she trustworthy? The reason to evaluate this is that typically past behavior predicts future behavior. Most likely she would not have posed for a picture like you describe if she felt she had anything to hide.

 

It might be helpful to have a conversation in which you calmly share your feelings and concerns and ask her to share her feelings about how your relationship is working given the long distance between the two of you. Focusing on this, rather than the picture or the party may be much more helpful to rule out any issues between the two of you.

 

I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I don think she thought i would see pin, I thin she thought was looked down on facebook

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Are you atill work on answer after the Photo? thank you

 

James

Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.

From what I can see in the picture it is unclear whether this is evidence of anything inappropriate or not. It will be important to discuss your concerns openly and honestly with her and evaluate whether she is willing to listen to your feelings and work on ways that she can regain your trust. This may take some time to discover whether you feel able to trust her. Long distance relationships make it much more difficult to deal with these issues as it is harder to spend time together to work on your relationship and it is also easier to be suspicious, whether it is justified or not. I hope that the two of you are able to work out this issue. Please let me know if I can help further.

Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience: Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
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Lori Gephart
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Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.