Can you give me some advice as to what kind of therapy to look for?
There are so many types. I don't know where to start. I thought cognitive behavioural therapy. I know that any therapy would help to some extent, but just talking about things doesn't seem very useful. It helps, and it gives me perspective for the moment, but then later I get sucked in to believing my delusions again, and acting on them.
At the moment when it happens, I have no support structure in my brain to help me stop and think. After I wish I had. My sister told me to call her before I emailed him, and I agreed. Then I emailed him at 5 in the morning. A part of me knew it was wrong, but I still did
it, still believed that maybe my delusion was right. Either because I did believe it, or because it was destructive, I don't even know that.
So I need something that will help me step back and think twice. I don't know if it's possible. Because I can see it a little from a distance, but once I am in that frame of mind I believe it entirely.
It's scary. I am not violent or dangerous :) But I called him on holiday because I genuinly believed that I had to tell him not to meet this girl, because we were supposed to have one more night together... Now of course he is freaked. So am I.
So, given this.. given that this is what happens, can you recommend a form of therapy that would be appropriate for helping me, firstly with the delusions, and also from acting on them. something that will help me control my emotional reactions, or allow me to pause and step back before I start believing I am doing the right thing.