Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I'm sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. When a relationship ends, even if it has not been a long term relationship, it can be very overwhelming, producing many of the same feelings as when someone you love dies. Grieving the loss of the relationship, as well as the loss of what you hoped the relationship might become can be a difficult process. Keep in mind that the stages of grief include: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. It is important to keep in mind that time will help with the grief process, as well as allowing yourself to feel your feelings in small amounts without allowing them to overwhelm you and without judging your feelings. You might want to take some time each day to write about how you are feeling. It is important to be sure to eat regularly. If your appetite is low, try to eat small frequent healthy meals throughout the day. A lack of nutrition will interfere with the ability to think clearly, making it more difficult for you to cope and to attend to your daily demands.
Your description of how you are feeling sounds as if this is quite overwhelming for you. This is not something that you should have to suffer alone with. There is help out there. Remember that even if one therapist was not helpful to you, others can be. You may also want to schedule a visit with your primary care physician for a physical to rule out any medical problems that may be contributing to your symptoms.
Ask your doctor for a recommendation for a psychologist who will be able to meet with you to help to identify exactly what is causing you to feel this way. The psychologist can meet with you for talk therapy to help you to be able to improve your mood and cope more easily. If medication is needed then the psychologist can also refer you to a psychiatrist for the medication.
Individual therapy can be very effective to help you to learn to feel your feelings in a safe way and develop tools to improve your mood. Other tools such as exercise, structuring your days with some social interaction, meditation, volunteering, working and avoiding alcohol, which is a depressant, can all be quite helpful. Think back to things that you enjoyed before the relationship and consider revisiting them. Even if you are not enjoying them right away you can "fake it till you make it". This is a time to work on taking good care of yourself and building your self esteem and confidence and to give yourself unconditional love. Remember that each relationship, no matter how long it lasts can be an opportunity to learn and grow. I hope this is helpful. Please let me know if I can help further.
I agree that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy should be very helpful to you. You can find a therapist by checking with your insurance company, or through a search site such as this: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
You may also want to try writing letters to this man that you do not send, that you shred, rip up or delete. Do not write them in email as you may be too tempted to press the send button. Allowing yourself to write it all out will help you to be able to vent some of these emotions in a safe way.
I wish you the best with all of this.