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Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 358
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
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Should my boyfriend (actually just ex) (who still wants a future

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Should my boyfriend (actually just ex) (who still wants a future with me) be having close emotional relationships with women and exgirlfriend (they call him at home all the time, email him and talk about their problems) if I am clearly uncomfortable with this? Where is the line drawn?

Absolutely not. You are his girlfriend and the primary loyalty should be to you. He is allowed to have his own space and even friendships with women.

 

I believe that having a relationship with an ex is a bad idea in general for most people. It puts too much stress on your relationship. I don't care how great she is, if he truly loves you he will be willing to sacrifice that relationship (or at least keep lots of distance with her).

 

The same principles should apply to any female friendship.

 

Let me know if you have still have other questions.

 

Dr. K and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thank you so much! You have really helped me. I am just not clear on the one comment you had. Not sure what you meant by the quoted part?

 

He is allowed to have his own space and "even friendships with women."

 

Thanks

Tracy

What I mean is that it is okay for him to have female friends, but with reasonable limits. They shouldn't be communicating several times a day...just once in a while. They can't take overnight trips together.

 

Can they have coffee or dinner together? Maybe...this is grey area. It depends on how comfortable you are with that. Ideally, you should be able to meet the female friends, and they seem reasonable and you trust both parties, then they should be allowed to meet on occasion without you. If you can't handle that now, then its okay...but you should work on that over time. That is, learn to be okay with it and trust him.

 

You don't want to be too controlling...you don't need to know where is every minute of the day.

 

I hope that clarifies things, Tracy.

 

Let me know if you have still have other questions.

 

Dr. K and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you