How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. K Your Own Question

Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 357
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. K is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been married for 20yrs. Recently my younger sister accused

Customer Question

I have been married for 20yrs. Recently my younger sister accused my husband of touching her she has accused another person before and lied. I am not sure what todo I found a few things that make this real. I have been having to lead 2 lifes one around my family and one with my husband. I have found this to difficult and I have found myself being a recluse and have now lost my job I'm over welmed with anger and betrail and I don't know who to believe she is a constant liar but he is acting strange. What do I do I want to just walk away from them all. Denise
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. K replied 3 years ago.

This sounds overwhelming and serious, especially since it's to the point that you're isolating and have lost your job. One important thing is to not make any rash decisions.

 

I really think some consistent psychotherapy/counseling is the best idea. You need an objective professional to help you through this; this would be a chance to look at all these people in your life and weigh their strengths and weaknesses. What do they do for you? What are they doing that makes it hard for you?

 

You may find out that you do have to walk away from certain people. If your sister is a constant liar, it will be difficult to have a healthy relationship with her until she gets help of her own and learns to be more honest. Is she really young and vulnerable enough to be victimized by your husband? In what way is he acting strange? Has he been unfaithful before? What are his responses when you talk to him about this? If you can't resolve things with him just by talking it out, consider some couples counseling too.

 

I'm glad you've tried reading. Here are some other books that may be helpful: "Boundaries" and "Where to Draw the Line" by Anne Katherine. Please let me know if I can answer any other questions. Take care & good luck.

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My sister is 17 and has had behavioral problems for years she steals she lies and caused all kinds of issues within the family. I cant see her being a victim thats hard for me. This accusation was made when I took her cell phone away for abuse she was talking to older men and having to many adult conversations with lezbians. she doesn't know if she is gay is why she is doing this.

My husband has never cheated on me that I am aware of he values marriage and I know he loves me. I have asked him things and he was so hurt that she could even say this about him. my mother died and I was left to help raise them along with my dad I have 3 younger sisters there is one biological and 2 are adopted prior foster children.

My husband is different he says it is a direct reaction on how I am acting. I was raped as a teenager and that is making this harder for me. He is a good husband and I cant even imagine him ever doing anything like this. I have known him sinc we were 12 and been together since 14 married at 18.

It is the little voice that I keep hearing what if and she reaches out and no one believes her I feel guilty but don't really believe her either. My family can be around my husband but it has caused seperation problems. I just feel like I can't handle this anymore I just want to cut my biological family loose. I don't feel that house is healthy there is so much bull and alot of it surrounds her.

The one thing that got me upset is I found hidden porn that is not aimed at my taste. I knew they existed just suprised at where I found them that is bother some. I don't have children and havent wanted them because I knew I was not wanting the stress. I am not sure what todo.

I would like to get councling my husband will not do that he doesn't believe he is in need I think I do. I am trying to find low cost or free I do not have insurance coverage for this and now have lost my job. I am having trouble with normal functioning. I am not sure what to do.

Expert:  Dr. K replied 3 years ago.

Remember, you don't pick your family. And the best thing you can do for the whole world is take care of yourself 1st...if these means cutting ties with toxic people, than that's what you have to do. I'm not saying it's ideal, but that's the way the world works.

Don't let anyone use guilt to manipulate you. It sounds like your husband is a solid man overall and you guys have a good relationship...I would believe him over a constant liar anyday.

 

Most communities have mental health treatment available for people with no money or insurance. Search for the local community mental health clinic. You can also check with the local department of health & welfare. If you can't find anything, many pastors, priests or ministers provide free pastoral therapy from churches.

 

What else can I answer for you?

 

 

 

Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 357
Experience: 15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
Dr. K and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your insite that is what I was thinking I need to do. I was worried I was not being a supportie and helpful sister.
Expert:  Dr. K replied 3 years ago.
You're on the right track.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 

Related Mental Health Questions