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Kelley
Kelley, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1018
Experience:  BSW, MSW, LCSW
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I have been married to my wife for 3yrs. We are both 30.

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I have been married to my wife for 3yrs. We are both 30. She was a virgin when we married and we did not have any sexual contact when dating. We are Christian. Since marriage our sex life started badly and got worse, essentially because she either finds it painful (even after using lubricants etc). I says it's fine and "we'll sort this out together" she doesn't act to help herself or us. Frequency is now essentially non-existant and whilst she says she wants us to be good at this, when I try and lovingly engage her in conversation about it she says that she doesn't want to talk to anyone else (professional or friend) about it. I'm now at my wits end and very depressed. How can I improve our sex life and get her/us to get help?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kelley replied 6 years ago.
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Kelley :

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Kelley :

This sounds like a very frustrating situation. Your friend and doctor are right that she has to take the step and admitt that there is something going on. It sounds like what is going on could very much be a medical issue with her and her gynocologist could really help. I would suggest approaching her with that angle on it. Let her know that it could be something her doctor could easily help her with and could very likely be a medical condition. Let her know you will gladly go with her to talk to her gynocologist as a support and that you will even make the appointment phone call if she feels uncomfortable. Let her know you are in this together and that there is nothing to be ashamed or embarased about. Let her know that as her husband you really want to be able to be intimate with her and that it is beginnnig to effect your relationship since you feel she is closed off from working with you together on this. If she absolutly refuses it may be helpful for you to see a therapist who can help you work through this on a weekly basis. Please let me know if I can assist anymore, I am here to help!

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