How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Michael Your Own Question

Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience:  Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
28397935
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Michael is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

2.5 years ago I met a man and we fell deeply in love. The

Resolved Question:

2.5 years ago I met a man and we fell deeply in love. The feelings were exhanged by both of us, and led by him. We were together 4 months. One moment he was telling me he was immensely in love with me and within a week he was starting to break it off. Over the past couple of years we have tried to remain friends, the occassional chat here and there, but I can't be his friend..which is what he wants. I get very anxious and do something to screw up the friendship. 6 days ago I started Prozac. The constant thinking about this has brought me to depression. Will the prozac help with the over thinking? BTW, he's popped up again after disappearing for a few months. Im now thinking about it more and more again.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 4 years ago.
Hello. I believe I can be of help to you with this issue.

Yes, Prozac can alleviate ruminations, worrying and stabilize your moods.

When you say you get very anxious and do things to screw up the friendship, what are you referring to? Example, please?

While you have agree to try to remain friends, I think this man is sending you some mixed messages and causes you to think about him constantly. It isn't always possible or reasonable to expect an intense, romantic relationship to evolve into just a 'friendship'. Frankly, it is unfair for one partner (who is o.k. with being friends) to ask that of the other partner (who was more emotionally involved and 'in love') to do this because there is usually a great deal of frustration and the person experiences huge emotional roller coasters. What do you think? Does the relationship seem like it holds fair expectations of you?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
No its not a fair expecatation and thats why I screw it up. We have done about 7 or 8 rounds of this. He expects to flirt, calls me baby, beauty (his nickname for me). I handle it for awhile and then I realize that Im falling for him again and I try to tell him but he doesn't hear me. He just keeps telling me that he thought I was over everything and that being friends is good for him. Im just so tired of thinking about it. And at the time he seemed to be more emotionally involved with me. Encouraging me to fall in love with him..he was more insecure, jealous etc.
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 4 years ago.
What I fear for you is that he wants the luxury of being just friends, because this relieves him of a romantic commitment to you, but he revels a bit in the fact that you love him to the degree you really 'need' to be more than friends. This is unfortunately, a really unfair and unreasonable position to take with you, IMO. It is also just a tad narcissistic.

If the rational side of your brain tells you this is an unfair, unreasonable expectation---to just be friends, and it simply frustrates you and drags you into emotional roller coasters, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with making a fairly clean break with this man. Perfectly normal, healthy thing to do----protect yourself emotionally from this situation. I hope the rational side of your brain can prevail over the emotional side of your brain on this one.

I hope this information is helpful to you. Please let me know if I have overlooked any aspect of your question.
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
Dr. Michael and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael
Mental Health Professional
2177 Satisfied Customers
Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.