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My husband says he hates my anger. But he is the only one that

 
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  • Answered by:Bill
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Customer Question

My husband says he hates my anger. But he is the only one that makes me angry. What can i do?

 

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Gender: Female
Age: 49

Already Tried:
talking to him. What makes me so angry is: he is constantly telling me i dont love him or want to be around him. Ive have changed everything in my life for him. Its never enough. everytime he says that i just loose it.

Submitted: 955 days and 8 hours ago.
Category: Mental Health
Value: $29
Status: CLOSED
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Expert:  Bill replied 955 days and 8 hours ago.

Since I see that you are out of chat, I will reply in this format.
First, identify the triggers that make you angry.
Write them down so that you are clear. Understand that you may feel angry at other times and discharge it in relationship to your husband as there is a feeling of safety is disclosing this emotion.
It is ok to have feelings of anger.
If you husband is not willing to listen to your list of triggers, seek counseling for yourself in how to deal with anger as it presents in your life. There also a ton of books on anger/relationships on Amazon
Feel free to follow up with me if you have addition questions.
Otherwise, please click accept.
Best to you,
Bill

Customer replied 955 days and 8 hours ago.

Do I have the problem? Even though he provokes me. I have tried talking to him. I can remain calm. I even have walked away from him so i dont yell at him. But he follows me to the bathroom or bedroom or where ever i go. He follows me. I ask him not to continue to say that unless hes willing to explain exactly waht he means and why and he just says nevermind. Im fed up. I only get mad at him. No one else makes me that angry, I guess because his opinion is really the only one that matters to me. and I do love him very much and hes the only one I can never seem to please.

Accepted Answer

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Expert:  Bill replied 955 days and 7 hours ago.

This is a common marital problem and if you and your husband love each other, I strongly suggest that you see a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
If you don't have a lead to fine a therapist go to the American Association for Marriage and Family THerapy http://www.aamft.org/
and click on Find A Therapist near You.
It is a problems that is very resolvable.
No, I don think that it is your problem. It is a relationship problem.
Good Luck with this. Get help so that it doesn't continue to fester.
Best, BillLCSW

Expert TypeLCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Pos. Feedback: 95.4 %
Accepts: 3641
Answered: 9/11/2010

Experience: 30 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's

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