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Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
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I am so over stressed with taking care of my mentally astute

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I am so over stressed with taking care of my mentally astute but physically weak elderly mother 24/7. I need to get some really good help but it's next to impossible for me to escape my house. No one can imagine what having her in my home for the last 3 years has done to my family. Although I must endure, I just can't take it. I feel so guilty for feeling like I do about her but I feel what I feel and that's total resentment.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 6 years ago.
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I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your mother. It can definitely be a stressor to care for an elderly parent. It is important to remember that there is no reason for you to judge your feelings, only your actions. Your feelings of resentment are telling you that this is an unhealthy situation for you. It is important for you to listen to these feelings and consider whether there are any options for you to set some limits for yourself. For instance, can you get any help, even if it is very part time, from family or friends? In addition, you may want to explore whether there are any limits you can set for your mother, depending of course on her medical condition, regarding allowing time and space for you and your family. Are there any options of nursing care that your mother may be eligible for? You may find this link helpful in giving information about possible sources of help: http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Home.aspx


 


You may want to vent some of your frustration through letter writing, in which you write letters to your mother or others that you may be upset with and then shred them. This helps to release your feelings in a safe way that doesn't harm anyone. It is important for you to remember to take care of yourself while you are taking care of your mother. Finding time, even if it is brief, to do something for you is vitally important. If you don't take care of you, then you will burn out and not have anything left for your mother or the rest of your family. Exercise, meditation, eating healthy, spending time with supportive people and being patient with yourself are all important. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.

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