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Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
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I have an 18 year old daughter who is of course wonderful when

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I have an 18 year old daughter who is of course wonderful when she is good but bad when she is down she skipped school at the end of last year constantly, I have found out she has been hanging with black boys giving them money she has lost all her nice friends eats lunch alone at school and has been warned about missing school this year. I have threatened to throw her out. She hates our nice home lies constantly I catch all the time.She gets very angry when I confront her and has told me the last 2 weeks when she gets caught I hate you everyone blames everyone else for her problems and said today she wants to die just wishes she would she is beautiful, but very unhappy wont go back for counseling from 2 yrs ago and says i cant make her because she is 18 disrupts things all the time. She has been sleeping alot and has very big mood swings up and down lost her job tells me she got one but doesnt pan out ever. Things our getting worse and I am afraid as to what she will do next. what can i do to help her?
She ran away 3 times between the age of13 14 spent 3 weeks in a lock down vacility home for disruptive children, sent from manatee glenns in florida. The physcologist she seen 2 years ago said she couldnt help her because of her lieing. She did ok for her sophmore and 3/4 of her junior year did summer school on line and has been in her senior year for 2 weeks and skipped out classes yesterday and lied about it. What can I do I feel she is falling backwards, and needs help
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 3 years ago.
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Lori Gephart :

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Lori Gephart :

Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.


 


I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your daughter. This is a very difficult situation given your daughter's age, since technically the law considers her an adult, even though she is obviously not behaving as one. The behaviors that you describe are very serious and suggestive of a possible depression or other condition that requires treatment. While you cannot force your daughter to be in therapy, you can make it a condition of her living in your home (if you are willing to follow through with this if she refuses treatment). Remember not to threaten anything you aren't willing to follow throuh on or you lose your credibility. Although she is 18, you do have the right to set rules and consequences for as long as she is living in your home. The risk here is that she may choose to move out. Given her pattern of lies, be sure to focus on what you can see, (behaviors) rather than what she says until she begins to earn trust back through telling the truth.


 


It could be helpful to talk to her when she is in a mood to listen and let her know how much you love her and want the best for her. You could ask her what she thinks might be helpful and see if she is willing to problem solve with you. Perhaps she would be more comfortable seeing a new psychologist instead of seeing her previous therapist. Either way, these behaviors are expressions of emotional pain. If you can focus on giving her unconditional love along with matter of fact consequences for her behaviors (take the negative attention away) it may be helpful. Be careful not to enable by helping her to avoid consequences for her actions. Try to catch her good behaviors and praise them.


 


You may also want to encourage her to get involved in something that she may be interested in or talented in that may give her a positive outlet for her time and energies. Exercise and healthy eating will be helpful as well if she is willing to work on this. This is a very stressful situation. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.

Customer :

I have tried all these things you suggest. I am at my wits end and I know she needs help i am trying very hard she has no money or no place to go. she wants to be good on her good days, and bad on her bad days. it has been suggested to have her arrested for concerns of her well being life. is this a good option to have her sent away because of her mental well being ie bakers act

Lori Gephart :

If her behavior warrants this then it would certainly make sense. This would be part of not enabling her and having her face the consequences of her actions. If she is able to be hospitalized it would give professionals time to evaluate her and begin a trial of medication that could be helpful with her mood and behaviors.

Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience: Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
Lori Gephart and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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