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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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Hi, I fear my husband has BPD and want to get away from him

Resolved Question:

Hi, I fear my husband has BPD and want to get away from him but fear his emotional wrath. What are the long term health problems associated with living with a BP person and how does it affect the children? I don't want to put them through a bad divorce but feel it might be better than staying.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
Hello Thank you for bringing your question on JustAnswer. I am sorry to hear your situation. Please allow me ask you a question before I offer an answer. Is he receiving any treatment for his BORDERLINE PD?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
No, he doesn't think he has a problem and I am the one who thinks it is Borderline PD. He may not have heard of it. I have told him he is narcissistic and he agrees. He would not admit any personality problems in marriage counseling.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
That's a tough situation. Your husband may have Antisocial personality disorder (APD) and/or Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD. They are different but similar in some respects. People with APD do not admit their problem at all and lacks empathy and remorse for others. APD and BPD are worse than NPD in terms of their behavior. People with APD and BPD are very difficult to have a relationship with and they are serious illness in personality. There are no consistent results of research on this question - long-term consequence of living with person with BPD or APD. However, many people are likely to have depression, anger and anxiety around those with APD and BPD. I would think that their partners are more vulnerable to psychological distress around them. I hope this information helps even a bit. Let me know if you have more questions.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I don't know much about APD, but he is very friendly and social in public. He switches back and forth very quickly. If say, he has NPD and BPD, what do you recommend to people with children (ages 10 and 13) to do? Can the non-BP help the kids sort through their feelings and keep them mentally healthy?
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 6 years ago.
If your husband has NPD or BPD, his behavior and mood changes may cause anxiety in children. Then you as another parents is a key for children's mental health. Many researches on children and adolescent show that even they grow up in a household with a mentally ill parent, many of them developed a healthy and sucsessful adults if they had one parent or caregiver who gave them consistent love, support and guidance throughout their lives. So my answer is, as long as you are healthy, loving, and consistent in behavior to them, they feel secure and can overcome some anxiety caused by one parent's behavior. Please let me know if you have more questions.
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