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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1766
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Hi, My name is Denise and Ive been in a long distant relationship

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My name is XXXXX XXXXX I've been in a long distant relationship for 3 years. Both me and my partner have 2 boys each and initially he was meant to move to Sydney as he is from Perth (Aust) but that plan fell through when the plan for him to get a job transfer failed and his bond became closer to his kids. His life turned a different direction with a new job, sporting and family.. He proved he could provide me and my children a stable, secure life with him and his surroundings and we decided considering i had a small amount of friends and a handful of family that it would be better for us to relocate to Perth. My children (8yr & 10yrs) had been brainwashed by their father and grandparents against my partner and advised the children that if they were to move to Perth that he (dad) would cut all ties with them and disown them as his kids. My ex husband has not moved on and is still holding onto resentment and because of this my children refuse to move to Perth and get upset if i ever do mention it. I know our life will be more fulfilled in Perth and i will not leave my children behind. Will a move affect their security and stability even if i bring them back regularily to see their other family?

Hi and welcome,


A move will not affect your children as much as remaining near to your ex will. Any person who would tell two children that if they move (like they have the power to make a decision like that) he will "cut them off" is doing more harm than good, it is emotional and verbal abuse. What kind of stability and security do they have now with a father who would threaten them in this way.You are the one who needs to decide what to do. Your children cannot refuse to go, there will be adjustment issues and, if you move I would suggest you find a therapist to help the children adjust to the move. In fact they would benefit from therapy now as a way to deal with the what they are experiencing due to their Dad's abusive behavior.

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