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Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience:  Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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My 22 year old daughter is living back home with me. She has

Customer Question

My 22 year old daughter is living back home with me. She has a 21 month old son. She is addicted to prescription drugs - she snorts them. She is seeing a drug counselor once a week but isn't paying her bills but does have a job. She lost her last job because of stealing. She doesn't stop long enough to talk and get focused and i'm ready to kick her out. I'm giving her a choice - she has a clean urine screen weekly, continues counseling, and allows me to help her manage her finances so she can save for an apartment or she moves out within the next 2 weeks. Is this the righ thing to do?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 6 years ago.
Hello, thank you for contacting 'Just Answer' with regards XXXXX XXXXX concerns/feelings surrounding your relationship with your daughter & her present circumstances.

Firstly though, I would like to commend you on your insight and wisdom in relation to a choice/ and the expectations you have outlined for her that is if she continues down the path that she is presently on...
I believe it is the right thing to do as they are boundaries and guidelines for her that you have set in place, so that she knows what is except able and what isn't exceptable under the circumstances.

Boundaries are healthy ( we all need them )and are essential for all relationships no matter our circumstances.. and although it must be an extremely difficult choice for you to make ..they are your boundaries that she can not cross over into...yet they are also excellent guidelines for her so that she knows whats exceptiable and what isn't going to be accepted while living at home.
They are also forward thinking in that by helping her manage her finances she can not only pay her bills but also look to the future with regards XXXXX XXXXX of her own..
The other two requirements ..* clean urine screen weekly * and continues counseling are all very supportive/caring in the way that its for her health & wellbeing that of her young son and your own mental & emotional wellbeing.

I wonder though if it would be worthwhile actually writing this contract up on paper in very bold print and placing it where she will be reminded of the choice she has inclusive of the words 'excuses are unacceptable with this contract".This might suggest to her that you are serious with seeing it your own mental /physical well being is at stake.
.Also the odd rare time she is is coherent ..ask about her drug counseling..( you may well already be doing this) try to find out what 'tools' her counsellor is actually giving her to assist her recovery ..I know progress can be slow but what if any progress has she made..?
Her counsellor might well have some extra tools/resources for you to use by way of handling issues that come up..would it be possible to discuss this with her counsellor..they should have one or two recommendations for use being specialists in this field.

I hope this has helped shed more light on the issues you are facing..please accept my response if you have no further queries thoughts are with you.

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