Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hello, I'm happy to talk with you. I am working on your question now.
Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing in your relationship. The behaviors that you describe in this man sound like definite red flags. This type of controlling behavior is very unhealthy and can be very dangerous as it can lead to violence and/or abuse. The farther away you get from this type of individual the better off you will be. It sounds as if you are following your gut in getting away from this man. The complication seems to be the vehicle. Since you have no legal claim to the car, there is little you can do to keep it. Given that you know that he lies and cannot be trusted, even if he promised to give it to you, this really means nothing since he has no credibility. Even if he would agree to let you make payments on the car, this would be a way for him to continue to exert control over you and keep you tied to him in a potentially unhealthy way.
This is the time to consider what resources you may have available. Are there any options for allowing you to obtain a vehicle including applying for a loan from a bank, car dealership or family member? (There are some dealerships that cater to people with bad credit.) Are there any things that you could give up temporarily in order to be able to afford a car, for instance cable, eating out, etc? As difficult as it may be to be able to afford a vehicle for yourself, it is one step closer to being free of this man and his unhealthy influence over you. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.
I agree and will try my best to find the answer to the vehicle. Why is he so mean and why will he not discuss the reason he is moving on ? This quesiton is haunting me . I just want a straight answer. I feel if he doesnt answer he is delberletly leaving the door open for future conversation is this true? or do you think I am safe and he will not bother me again?When we had borken in the past he would stalk me.what does that mean. I think he is doing this to other women now.
You mentioned that this man is a pathological liar. This would be someone who lies out of habit. This type of individual sees lying as their normal and reflexive way of answering questions. Pathological or compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, whether they are big or small issues. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. This pattern of lies usually develops in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. It is also possible that he may be more of a sociopath. This type of individual is manipulative and cunning and lies to control and get their way. Expecting a straight answer from someone in either of these categories is not logical. Most likely he is leaving the door open to continue to have the opportunity to try to control you more.
Regarding safety, keep in mind that past behavior predicts future behavior. If he has stalked before then he is likely to do so again. If he has been violent before then he is likely to do so again. There are laws against stalking. If he begins to stalk you again, be sure to document this stalking behavior and notify the police immediately. Remember to avoid contact with him and reactions to him as contact and showing emotion will likely fuel the stalking behavior. You may find the following website to be helpful: http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_People196
I wish you the best in this difficult situation. Please let me know if I can clarify further.