Oh my, I am just so very sorry for you.
Okay, you know the thing about therapy is that we need to have strengths to work with and I am sorry that being a good cook does not qualify :) although I do appreciate your sense of humor at such a tough time.
You know I really do hate giving you my response but here goes. Stay as far away from Mary as you can. I know that you already know this somehow but I cannot impress upon you enough that she is quite a dangerous woman and any interactions you have will cause you more pain and suffering.
I know that you are a good person and would not have written us here if you were not looking for a gentle way to handle her, but I have to be firm with you and ask that if she gets out of hand and makes public displays to harm you or threatens you in any way, you are going to have to get a restraining order and let your local authorities take charge.
I know. This is just so sad.
I know you have good friends who will help you through this and luckily we can choose our friends even when we cannot choose our family.
There are books out there to waste money on but none will work with your Mary.
I am just so sorry. I wish I could have given you the kinder and gentler response you were seeking but I cannot. You watch out for yourself and do not forget to take very good care of you please.
Warm regards XXXXX XXXXX a painful post.
let me know if there is more we can do to help you on this?