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I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your husband. It is important to note that someone does not have to drink daily to be an alcoholic. Many people will use alcohol to try to "self medicate" to dull the emotional pain that they are feeling. You may find the following link for Alanon to be helpful. It offers support for family members of those who have drinking problems: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
The information and group meetings may help you to examine any behaviors which you may be engaging in that may enable his behaviors. Since you cannot change your husband, the only person you can change is you. This means that you may need to decide what limits you need to set for yourself and your family and how much you will tolerate of his behaviors. Often people with a drinking problem may not be willing to seek help until they reach their bottom. This is different for each person. For some people, an intervention where you and other family and friends, perhaps with the assistance of a professional, can be helpful to convince the alcoholic to get help. Either way, it is unlikely that he will be able to fix this on his own. The help of an addictions specialist is important, since if he simply tries to quit drinking without addressing the underlying issues that trigger his drinking, this will most likely be ineffective.
In the meantime, one of the things you may be able to work on is you. Consider working on taking care of you just like you might care for your children, focus on healthy activities such as exercise, eating healthy, hobbies, time with supportive people, etc. Above all, make sure you give yourself unconditional love. I wish you the best with this difficult issue. Please let me know if I can help further.
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