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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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I am 23 and have a boyfriend 28, who I have been with for 3

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I am 23 and have a boyfriend 28, who I have been with for 3 1/2 years now. Our entire relationship, he has played an online role playing game called world of warcraft. I think he is addicted. In the beginning it used to be much worse, he would be on it all day, I'd come over after a long day at work (which he doesn't live close) he would open the door, and go right back to the game. Leaving me to watch tv in his room, before falling asleep by myself because he was still on the game. After years of fighting over it, he still hasn't quit. It's gotten better but not for any good reason, just he works during the week now, so instead of seeing him during the week, he comes over to my house on the weekend...where the internet is bad and he can't really play. But during the week after he gets off work he plays until he goes to bed, and when I call him he will ignore my calls because he is too busy with the game. Will it stop? Will he hit a certain age, or maybe when we get married he will grow out of it? He refuses that he is addicted and even though I have offered getting him help to quit he says he wont. How do I make myself more important then his computer game?
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Tamara :

Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today. I'm sorry to hear that you are having these issues with your boyfriend. It is unfortunately very common for people these days to be addicted to online gaming - and World of Warcraft seems to be a big one. This behavior is unlikely to change unless he decides that it is a problem and that he needs to do something about it. So basically, there isn't anything you can do to force that to happen. He has made a choice that the game is more important than spending time with you, and that's the reality - whether he chooses to view it that way or not. Your options are to accept it, or to leave the relationship. If he is OK to let you leave rather than stop playing the game, then I think you should take the hint and get out of the relationship. It's not a childish ultimatum - it's you telling him what you need and making a choice to take care of yourself if he isn't capable of changing his behavior. The botXXXXX XXXXXne is that nagging him about it isn't going to make a difference, and getting married isn't going to make a difference. He needs to decide to stop - and if he doesn't, all you can do is either live with it or get out. Honestly, I think you should seriously consider whether you want a relationship with someone who doesn't want to make you a priority. Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara

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