Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I am sorry to hear that you continue to have concerns regarding your daughter. From her recent note, she does indeed seem to be struggling. The positive thing is that she seems to have some insight, at least part of the time, that she is not where she needs to be in life and wants to make changes. The symptoms that she describes including tearfulness, anger, feeling down, hurting all over, and difficulty enjoying things all are symptoms of depression. The tightness in the chest often come from anxiety. It is not uncommon for depression and anxiety to go hand in hand. Of course, I cannot diagnosis your daughter, but obviously it would be important for her to agree to an evaluation and treatment for the symptoms that are interfering with her life. These are not symptoms that she is likely to be able to address successfully on her own.
A heartfelt letter from you, sharing how much you love her and that you want to encourage her to seek help for these symptoms that she is struggling with might allow her to perhaps hear your concerns with the least amount of defensiveness. A consistent message from you to her that she deserves to have help in dealing with this, just like she would if she were dealing with diabetes, could help to normalize the process of getting help for her.
There should be a local mental health center in her area that could assist in finding a psychologist who could evaluate her for the most appropriate treatment. Until she agrees to get help, you can continue to love her and encourage her to get help so that she does not have to do this alone. And, of course, continue to take good care of yourself as well. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.
Thank you again, Lori. I was thinking about letting Ryan read all that I have written to show her that I am trying to find her help as best I know how. It shows I care, but have reached out to you for help that I don't know how to get. I'm hoping it will start her on a search for someone professional to talk to and get the help she needs. I have given her phone numbers, but she just puts them away, procrastinates or just shines them on, and it never gets done. She'll have a good week and then will feel she doesn't need the help, but she does and like you said, only she can do this for herself. I know she knows I love her and care for her, but I have told her I don't have the answers, but want her to find herself by getting the help she needs. I can only hope and pray that she gets help and gets on with the life she so wanted to do. She can be so strong, I've seen her will and competiveness to work hard at something she really wants, but her down side is holding her back. I want her strong again, but she can only get there by talking to someone professional to help her get the answers she needs. She argues and gets very negative when I try to help, so I'm obviously not saying the right things. Also I'm her mom and most of us don't listen to our moms.
Thank you again and if you have any other suggestions, I'm open to hear them all. I'm reaching out to get her the help she needs before she goes down any farther. Sincerely, Kori