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Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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how do i get unstuck in therapy. i believe i have not made

Resolved Question:

how do i get
"unstuck" in therapy. i believe i have not made progress in months. my therapist tells me to "be patient"
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 6 years ago.
Chat Conversation Started
Tamara :

Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today. What kind of issues are you working on? Tamara

Customer :

bpd problems

Tamara :

Borderline?

Customer :

yes

Tamara :

Well, borderline personality disorder is notoriously difficult to treat, and it is common for BPD clients to feel discouraged and that they are not making any progress. Because of the complexity of the disorder, it can take some time to move therapy along to a point where you feel like you are making progress. Also, it is common for BPD clients to interpret things negatively, so just because you feel there is not progress, doesn't necessarily mean that there isn't any progress. I would encourage you to continue talking honestly with your therapist about your concerns, and be open about how you are feeling about the therapy process. Hopefully your therapist is incorporating some dialectical behavioral therapy, as this is shown to be the most effective treatment. It does take time, and you do need to have patience. But also make sure that your therapist can answer your questions to your satisfaction (not that you like the answer, but that it makes sense to you at some level). Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara

Customer :

my therapist has training and experience in dbt that she is employing with me. i have begun to not trust my perception of reality, in this case progress or lack of progress. how long can it be before dbt therapy progress can be measured?

Tamara :

I'm sorry. I know this can be frustrating. It's likely, however, that your definition of progress and your therapist's definition of progress are different. You may be looking at whether or not you feel better, while your therapist might be looking at how you handle your emotions, your perceptions, and your thoughts, how open you are to looking at yourself, how you are handling your abandonment fears, etc. If she is trained in DBT, then I'm sure you're in good hands. One of the hard things with BPD is the necessity of being open to the fact that your perception of reality might not be accurate. That will get better with time. Do your best to trust your therapist (I know that's hard), and be patient. Progress will occur, but it will likely look different that you think it will. Good luck. Tamara

Customer :

this is the most difficult thing i have ever done. i believe i may not be able to successfully learn to live with this chronic disease, although i do have a group of people who believe i can.

Tamara :

You can do it! But it is going to take time and work. It will be worth it, however. Just hang in there. Thanks. Tamara

Customer :

thank you for helping me to see this problem more clearly and for validating my thoughts and feelings.

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