How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Lori Gephart Your Own Question

Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
45699345
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Lori Gephart is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 5 1/2 year old daughter is so badly behaved when she wants

Customer Question

My 5 1/2 year old daughter is so badly behaved when she wants to be . She does not listen and answers back . Out with my sister and at school & playcentre she lies on the floor and screams if she is for example being denied something . She is a very cute girl and small for her age . My aunt looked after her at home until she was 3 and does not know the meaning of dicipline . Since 3 she has been at nursery and now school . She is accustomed to getting lots of attention. Other childre pick her up and there is always one adult in the set up she is in who thinks she is fine and just has a very strict mum until she starts the behavaiour . She is very bright and could read by 4 . She is very sociable loves a dance and is very funny . Children find her fun and she is very popular . I know i have the worst behaved child in the world - other kids tell me when i arrived to pick her up what she has done . Thier parents tell me she is all they talk about . I know this is having an impact . Although the parents are nice to me i have noticed that a few of them desperately try and get thier children to be friends with other children rather than her and she told me that one little girl she is very friendly with said her mum said she should not play with her .
I have always been a single mum , she has afternoon activties she loves 6 days a week , i dedicate all my free time to her . We go to lost of shows , shopping , cinema , parties . I am so worried when i at work my nose just starts bleeding on the way home i think what has she done today ? I am strict and if she does something awful ( hit her teacher another child ) i will smack her .When you ask her why her behaviour is bad she says that whoever it is was "naughty to her". I have explained that she has to be told what to do by adults and she cannot do what she wants all the time . For the last 2 1/2 years i have taken away things , time out , told off , stopped activties - i even refuse to read bedtime stories ! I acnnot face another school year like the one she has just had and don't know what to do !
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.
Chat Conversation Started
Lori Gephart :

Hello, I'm happy to talk with you. I am working on your question now.

Customer :

i don't have anything else to say other than i don't know what else to do !

Lori Gephart :

I am working on your answer and will be with you shortly.

Lori Gephart :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer.


 


I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your daughter. You are in a difficult position as you have the stress of being a single parent and dealing with this stress alone. The good news is that these behaviors are likely very much able to be corrected. Keep in mind that any behavior that gets attention is likely to continue happening, even if it is negative attention. It has been called the law of the soggy potato chip in that if a child thinks that she has a choice between a soggy potato chip or no chip at all, she will choose the soggy chip. If your daughter feels that he has the choice between negative attention or no attention at all, she will choose the negative attention and so she will act out until she gets it. The only way for this pattern to stop is for to begin to catch the good behaviors and reward them with attention, and to calmly and matter of factly give consequences for the negative behaviors with as little attention as possible. This means no yelling, hitting, lecturing or crying when she misbehaves, just giving consequences. A very good book on this subject is Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan by Cynthia Whitham MSW. Remember that the more consistent you are with this positive parenting, the more secure your daughter will begin to feel that she is able to get attention through positive behaviors and the more her behavior should improve. If after consistently trying this technique you see no improvement, then an evaluation with a child psychologist would be a good idea. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.

Customer :

Thanks - i will try

Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience: Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
Lori Gephart and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.
You are very welcome. I know that it is difficult to respond to these very disturbing behaviors without showing emotion to her, but it is extremely important to avoid reinforcing these behaviors. I wish you the best.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart
President/Licensed Psychologist
171 Satisfied Customers
Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.