Moral, Ethical, Spiritual Dilemma:
I am the mother of two grown sons, 42 & 43. My oldest son, spiraling in and out of pschosis at age 17, had the horrid experience of being molested by a trusted male youth leader in our church. He was hospitalized for depression, and after he told me what happened, I informed the church; the leader was expelled from ministry, apologized (as if that erases the damage), and subsequently OD'd on drugs two years later and died. A personal friend, he had sworn to me previously he had done nothing to no one else, including my younger son. I believed him.
Since my younger son, then 16, had been in an ongoing mentoring relationship with this church leader the previous year and a half, (I was separated from my ex-husband at the time) I was terribly concerned that he, also, had become a victim, but my youngest son said no.
Now I find out 25 years after the fact that he did
not tell me the truth; this youth leader used to take alcohol on youth retreats and use it to seduce his charges. My younger son was molested; as also, he believes, were several other boys. Unfortunately, he didn't have the courage to admit this to me until just recently. He doesn't want to talk to his brother about it (who has been plagued with Schizophrenia
the past 20 years) or the church. I worry about the other boys, now men, who were undoubyedly hurt by this leader, but since this man has been dead many years and no one else spoke up, I don't know what my responsibility is in this now.
I can't discuss this with anyone except my husband becaue of confidentiality issues with my sons. Now what?