Yeah, her words still roll around my head, and they are poison. Anyone I find who knows about BPD, says run like hell, they are the ministry of death. I'm hanging around a 50 year old gay guy these days. Most of the time its agony of irritation, but the ONLY way I can get by ( long story by the way ) is be gentle on myself. I thought you'd be gald to hear that. My strength is making me weak and I'm becoming strong in weakness. I know, it sounds like absolute surrender, just like a real addict would say. Cheers XXXXX XXXXX again.