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Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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Hi, my 18 month old baby starts his tantrums about 2 weeks

Customer Question

Hi, my 18 month old baby starts his tantrums about 2 weeks ago. We just moved from little town to DC. He wasn't easy baby not so ever but now it's just getting worse and worse. We try to ignore him and he doesn't stop screaming for 40 minutes. He doesn't speak yet, but i can understand he is very angry and seems like he is calling us bad names or whatever. I am stay home mom, all my time i spend with my son, we go to playgrounds once or twice a day, we walk a lot, we read books. As soon as my husband gets home, my son starts screaming with no reason. My husband holds him all the time when he is at home. Do you think we need profecional help. Thank you
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Sarah replied 6 years ago.
Chat Conversation Started
Sarah : hi there, I hope I might be able to help you, but I'd like to ask for more information. when you say that your husband holds your son all the time when he is at home,, do you really mean all of the time until your son goes to bed?

pretty much it. he sits on his lab during the dinner, we go for a walk, he doesn't want sit in the stroller, when i am alone with my son, things are much better.


we went to the store last night and my son didn't let me to take him from his daddy my husband wanted to try the suit on.


so we just left the store

Sarah : Unfortunately when we begin behaviours with our child, they don't understand when we don't want to be doing it for a while, so your son may have got so used to being on your husbands lap when he is around, that he doesn't want anything any different. As he can't speak for himself, screaming is one way of getting his feelings known. When a baby is born, it believes it is an extension of the mother and cannot separate itself. When it gets to about 2 years old (approximately, different for every child) they begin to realise that actually they are separate from the parent and they begin to experience separation anxiety, noticing that mummy or daddy go out of the room and may not come back. When they can crawl or toddle, that's grate, they just follow! Until then, they cry bitterly for the parent to come back as they feel abandoned. It sounds as if it is time for your son to slowly learn that he can't be with daddy on his lap every moment - maybe you could encourage him to stay close by with attention from daddy, so he plays at his feet, or daddy sits on the floor and play with him really close by, then slowly but surely, perhaps a fee inches a day, plays a little further away, until eventually your son will play by himself whist daddy is watching, and then daddy is able to
Sarah : eventually leave the room without screaming. (oops, sorry). I'm not sure that you need professional help, I think it's just your son saying 'why can't I have what you've always given me because I love being with my dad?'. How does that sound?

sounds good

Sarah and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Sarah replied 6 years ago.
Hi not sure if you got the end of my message - there is fabulous book called What to Expect, the toddler years, that you can buy on amazon or eBay for less than a pound and it's worth a million dollars. It tells you what you can expect at all the different stages and then asks and answers questions about all sorts of stuff that everyone asks with young children. It was my bible when my children were very small. Then you can pass it to a friend who also has lots of questions. Ask your husband to reassure your son that he isn't far away and for a while, if he has to leave the room, get him to return to his son is short time span (start with a few seconds and build it up if it helps) but ere assure his son that he has returned. Ask your husband to be aware that at the moment, if he leaves his son for a long period of time, and does not return, it will undermine your sons confidence in him. Eventually he will be able to call for him and crawl to him, so your son will outgrow it. I hope it goes well, thanks for the quick payment. You can ask for me again if you need to. Best Wishes, Sarah

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