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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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my boyfriend of 2 years and I have very different life styles

Resolved Question:

my boyfriend of 2 years and I have very different life styles etc. however I deeply respect him and he is a good, caring person and he feels the same about me. We are 60 so we won't be changing, but do adapt to each other. ?Will we ever be together for the long run?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.
Chat Conversation Started
Anna :

Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

Anna :

What is the main area of difference in your lifestyles?

Customer:

He is retired, I am not. He is suburban, I am a city girl. He is a former computer engineer, I am in Sales. He eats processed food, I eat healthy. He is a little ocd. I am more flexible. etc. etc.

Anna :

Do you plan to live together?

Customer:

It hasn't come up. We have stayed with each other for a few weeks at a time, but we don't talk about living together permantly.

Anna :

You've got quite a bit of differences, and they're pretty fundamental, so you're right to be concerned. I think it will come down to whether or not you want to be the flexible one.

Anna :

OCD/computer guys & engineers aren't known to be good adaptors.

Customer:

Think I should pursue another guy in my life at this age? What has been nice is that we both have fun together, like music and movies and have a good sex life. So that has been why I am confused about continuing the relationship.

Anna :

That does make it hard...sounds like it works well at the stage it's at, but you wonder would it crumble under the weight of more expectations. The older you are, the harder it is to find suitable companions, so that isn't something that you want to be silly about or morose about...it' realistic.

Anna :

It's going to come down to this: if you want to stick with this guy, you'll be doing the adapting. I may very well be worth that..if so...go forth and enjoy

Anna :

If your gut tells you to cut bait and move on, then you need to consider it seriously.

Anna :

Personally, I'd ride it out till it does fall under the weight. Then move on.

Customer:

o.k. thanks for the advise.

Customer:

I know, but at this point, life is getting short!

Anna :

You're welcome. Good luck, and my best wishes are with you.

Anna :

Anna

Customer:

Thank you!

Anna :

You're welcome. If you're satisfied with this chat session, please click accept and it will close out.

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