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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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I have been married to a man on crack for 17 years. He is

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I have been married to a man on crack for 17 years. He is in rehab now for the 3rd time and says this time he really has found the Lord. I am a christian but realize that over the years with this man it has been difficult maintain my faith because many times he's made me so angry that I will lose my temper and curse. I haved always wished that I could have a ood marriage with a saved spouse. The problem is, now they he's in rehab, everytime I talk to him on the phone, we end up arguing because he says things like "he's so close to God now that if he were in a room with 100 people on crack, it wouldn't touch him". He also says that I don't have the holy spirit because if I did, I wouldn't yell a him and I would go to church every Sunday. All of a sudden, this man who has put me through hell for years, and who is still in rehab, while I'm struggling payig the bills feels he's better than me and everybody else. I have told him that when he gets out I'm not going to live with him for at least 1 year. A part of me just wants to call it quits now. How do I call it quits with a man who's in rehab and claims he's better?
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I think you know how to leave him if you've done it 20 just need to learn how to stay away. It's similar to him and the crack...he quits crack every time he falls's picking it back up every day thats the problem. You've got a good plan not to live with him for a year...that will help both of you break the cycle of addiction...stick to it.

He's high on rehab right's very common. Addicts can be incredibly grandiose. I would suggest that you just don't talk with him about that, or if you do, do it during the family meetings. Request a couples appt with his counselor and put it on the table so that you can move past it. It's just another way to blow smoke and be domineering.

But most important is that you come to grips with your issues that keep bringing you back to a destructive man. You deserve a whole life as a child of God, and need to embrace your own tenderness. Direct that to you instead of outside so much, and you'll feel stronger and more in line with Christian beliefs. book

NarAnon and AlAnon are options for you to receive understanding and support from, and treatment centers usually have list of local support organizations that you can seek help for yourself. He isn't the only one in pain here...your pain is legitimate and worth your energy as matter what he says.

My best to you,
Anna and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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