Thank you for trusting JustAnswer with your important question.
First of all, she needs to be seen by a psychiatrist or neurologist who specializes in geriatric populations so they can rule out dementia
and have a better idea of what medications can best help her symptoms. We do see delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, and mood swings in elderly who are experiencing dementia, such as Alzheimer
's. These are often treated with anti-psychotic medications (like Abilify) and mood stabilizers (like the Depakote you mentioned).
You can ask her insurance company if they pay for home health care. This can provide nursing staff to come in a few hours a week to help take the load off the family and give you time to step away and take care of your own needs.
It may also be time to look into intensive outpatient programs (some are specifically designed for adults with her symptoms, and some even happen at night when the adults may be most active and the family least able to provide care and supervision).
The last option is full-time care at a nursing home care facility. It's never an easy choice to make, but sometimes it is the safest for everyone concerned. Some newer facilities feel more like residences and less like hospitals, and again some have programs that specialize to meet her mental health needs.
If your doctor can not point you in the direction of care programs like these you can either try calling 211 from a local landline telephone, you can call a local nursing home to see if they know of programs that deal with her issues, and you can also call the local Adult Protective Services or Department of Aging & Disabled Services to find out more.