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Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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Everytime my husband and I get into an argument/fight, it ends

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Everytime my husband and I get into an argument/fight, it ends with me kicking him out and him leaving for days, emailing and texting me with hurtful things. It almost seems like he hates me, he has never hurt me except for one day when he knocked me on the floor with his body weight, he charged at me....he was very upset. Any how, I used to feel horrible when this started happening but now I have almost become immune to his insults.
When we are not fighting, we almost seem like the perfect couple, he is very loving and caring but when we argue, he almost appears to hate me, very vindictive and we're at a point where he has now started threatening me...and I am starting to feel fear...could it be he has some sort of mental disorder?? Please help...I'm very confused.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry that you are having this trouble in your marriage. It sounds like it is getting increasingly frustrating to deal with. If you feel you are in danger and you fear your husband, then you need to take action to protect yourself. If you truly feel he might hurt you, then don't let him come back home. You need to trust your gut feeling on this one - there is no way I can tell whether he is dangerous or not.

However, I can say that if you are kicking him out of the house every time you have an argument, then I think it is predictable and understandable that he is going to start resenting you and treating you badly. You can't kick someone out of their own home on a regular basis and expect that they aren't going to start having some negative feelings toward you. This doesn't necessarily mean that he has some kind of mental disorder - some people just become very mean and hateful when they are angry.

I would suggest the two of you attend some marriage counseling together to see if you can come to a better understanding of what the problems are, and find a way to handle your disagreements differently if that is what you both want. Relationships take work, and yours could use some help from a professional. So unless you are afraid of him and just need to end things, then please talk with a therapist about how to argue more productively.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience: 20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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