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Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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My father lost my step-mom while he was driving them home from

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My father lost my step-mom while he was driving them home from dinner 2 1/2 years ago. The car was t-boned and she died instantly while he walked away with some bruises. The teenager that struck them is in prison. He is 66 years old and they were married for 30 years. Over these two years, he has and is under the care of a psychiatrist, hospice counselors, therapists, etc. He takes anti depressants, anti-anxiety medications, drinks wine heavily and took up smoking cigars. More than a few times he has had suicidal thoughts. He tells us he wants to feel better, but nothing is working. He continues to be in a "numb" state. He is a "shell" of a human being and it hurts seeing him suffer this way. Many people feel (myself included) that the anti-anxiety meds are making matters worse. I think he is addicted to them in some manner. I want to help my father but feel completely lost. I'm also not sure rehab is the answer. Do you know if there are any psychiatrists that will support and encourage a patient to get off the anti-anxiety meds? Any suggestions, feedback would be greatly appreciated. I love my father with all my heart.
M.A.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm so sorry to hear about your father's loss and resulting problems he has been having. It sounds like it has been a very tough time for him. I'm glad that he is on an antidepressant, and that he has been under the care of a psychiatrist. If you feel he is being over-medicated, or inappropriately medicated, then I would encourage you to talk with your father and his psychiatrist about your concerns. If your father is in agreement that the anti-anxiety medication might be making things worse, then I don't see any reason why his psychiatrist would not be willing to see how he does without them. If your father isn't willing, however, then his psychiatrist needs to abide by your father's wishes. Finding a good balance with medication is sometimes difficult and time-consuming, so do your best to be patient while you try to make some adjustments. Your father needs a lot of love, encouragement, and support - and it sounds like he has that! He's very fortunate to have you. Grieving can take time, esp. under these circumstances, so hang in there.

Best wishes and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience: 20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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