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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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For Anna, Ive been distilling the why and increasingly

Customer Question

For Anna, I've been distilling the 'why' and increasingly clear that its poor judgement to go back. Yet, I cant help myself and call her and get persuaded to go back. Long conversations through a dark cloud of depression and puppy hopes. Then I dont go, and I break her little heart again and its horrible. I dont know how she will give up or how I can get closure. Any tips? NC seems so brutal. She really is feeble and lonely. Shes expecxting me in Australia in Wednesday morning.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.
It sounds like you've made up your mind to go for another round, which just means you're not done yet. People live through poor judgment all the time....do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Don't forget that everyone likes a fantasy break - you're just involved with another human in this dance and you should be fair to both of you. Be gentle with people - which is not the same as being easy on them or you.

What is it you want tips towards? Getting her to give up or you getting closure? I'm going to be off for a few hours and then I'll get back as soon as I can. Just let me know where you're at, James.

Anna
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Confusion. Confusion, Confusion and more confusion. Its like a jew and catholic trying to be harmonious.

Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.


Ah...You can do this. Just break it down and take it one small part at a time. You have time...remember that above all - you have time to figure it out. Don't rush yourself or let anyone else. You have a right to your own confusion.

Anna
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
<p>I havent gone over, staying put for now. </p><p> </p><p>Breaking it down...Going back to square one, is it really a case of BPD? If its BPD I'm obviously glad I'm out and should be glad about that. I hope I'm not using that to convince myself thats its her when it really just me.</p><p> </p><p>Is this at least highly likely BPD? I read more about Gas-Lighting yesterday. Yep, lots of that. For example., 'you said this, you said that', but no, I never did, but the self doubt is really effective and obvioulsy detrimental in the long term, right? </p><p>Actually, the real question is this: is it abuse?  </p><p>cheers.</p>
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.
Yes, yes yes and yes to all except is it really just you. Especially yes on the gas lighting.

Good for you on staying put...I know that had to be hard on you. Hold on, I promise you that detox is possible and worth the effort.

Anna

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