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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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When I was young, perhaps 12 or 13, I did an unspeakable thing

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When I was young, perhaps 12 or 13, I did an unspeakable thing and let my dog hump my leg while i pretended to be turned on. It is a terribly disgusting memory and until recently, one I had locked away in my subconcious. Recently, the issue of OCD and intrusive thoughts has been very front and center in my life. And I wonder if my act with my dog was as a result of an intrusive thought; I don't remember what caused me to do that. Anyway, I am very afraid now since they say that acting on an intrusive thought in the past means you will again in the future. I don't have any desire to act out any of my intrusive thoughts and they are a constant source of shame, guilt, repulsion and self-loathing. What does this all mean? Am I sick and depraved?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 6 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I don't think you are sick and depraved. I think you were a teenager who was curious about sex, and you did something that you wouldn't think of doing now. Don't make it more than it is. Just because you did something in the past doesn't mean you are destined to do it in the future. If that were true, we would all be in big trouble. Deal with yourself for who you are NOW, and what problems you have NOW. The past is the past. Leave it there.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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