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Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
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my boyfriend bathes to the point of ..what I think is obsessive.

Resolved Question:

my boyfriend bathes to the point of ..what I think is obsessive. Getting up at 2:00 in the morning to take a bath because he is "cold"..bath every morning followed by shower before he can "function",,shaves his whole body?? help is this weird
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.
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Lori Gephart :

Hello, I'm happy to talk with you. I am working on your question now.

Lori Gephart :

 


Is your boyfriend getting up at 2am to take a bath because he is cold or because he feels like he needs to be clean? If he is bathing and showering multiple times a day because he constantly feels contaminated with dirt then this could be a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder. However, if he is bathing to warm up, then perhaps his house is not warm enough. Have you asked him why he shaves his body? Some swimmers, cyclists and body builders routinely shave their bodies. It is difficult to tell from the information what his motives are.

Lori Gephart :

One thing to consider is how much these behaviors that you have described interfere with his functioning.

Customer:

he says he is cold..i understand the shaving thing because i am a personal trainer..but he is not an athlete to this extereme level..he works out and in some ways I feel this is a tad narcissistic (sp?) if that makes sense

Lori Gephart :

 


From your description it does not sound as if he would fit into the category of obsessive compulsive disorder and shaving his body in and of itself would not necessarily suggest narcissism. It may be that the shaving is important to his body image. If this truly bothers you, it would be important to be honest with him. If it is not terribly important to you, then it may be something to simply accept that this is how he is and that unless he feels it is a problem for himself or for the relationship he will probably not be motivated to change.


From your description it does not sound as if he would fit into the category of obsessive compulsive disorder and shaving his body in and of itself would not necessarily suggest narcissism. It may be that the shaving is important to his body image. If this truly bothers you, it would be important to be honest with him. If it is not terribly important to you, then it may be something to simply accept that this is how he is and that unless he feels it is a problem for himself or for the relationship he will probably not be motivated to change.

Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Lori...I do not mean to be rude or disrespectful..but ...how is being awaken every morning to the bath running at 2:00 in the morning not a "problem"...
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for clarifying that this is a problem due to your being awakened. This certainly sounds like a problem if it disrupting your sleep. It would be important for you to have a serious talk with him to be clear with him about the consequences of his actions; that you are being awakened nightly. You may be able to brainstorm with him about other options to help him warm up that would not awaken you, such as having extra blankets handy. If he is unwilling to explore other options, then you might encourage him to seek therapy to discover any underlying issues that may be causing him to feel the need to engage in a behavior that seems to be disrupting your relationship. Thanks for your additional information. I hope his is helpful.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Already tried that tact but thanks anyway......
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 4 years ago.
I am sorry that he has not been able to hear your concerns. Sometimes using a different format can allow someone to hear how serious your concerns are. Writing a letter to him, where you start by how much you care about him and then let him know how much of a problem this is might be a way for him to hear this where he might not be able to in a conversation. If he is unable or unwilling to stop this behavior then you may need to decide whether this is something that you are willing to tolerate or not.
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience: Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
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