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Mina
Mina, Clinical Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 188
Experience:  Working as a Highly Specialist Clinical Psychologist in NHS. Experience in both children and adults
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Ive been married three years,and at times still question if

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Ive been married three years,and at times still question if im what he wants.He has been married three times and has a grown daughter who is married and still lives at home and is the center of his world.He still talks about his exes and refers to all the sexyal experience hes had in the past.His last dicorce was much due to his daughter wants all of his attention and is very minupilative which basically caused the divorce i feel like he now realizes that and wonder if he has regret.I love him very much but he is hard to get to know cause he is somewhat cold and very narcissisitic,him and his daughter walk around telling each other how beautiful they are.And he thinks his family is royality. His daughter is very extreme with no guidance has a lying problem,stealing,numerouse tattoos and has been allowed to drink and stay out all night since 14 i am the complete opposite with my children.Do i ignore all issues with his daughter bec
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Mina replied 4 years ago.
Hi,

thank you for contacting us.

May I ask why his daughter still lives at home since she is married?How old is she? any children?What is the current situation with his daughter's mother?and how is the relationship/communication between you and your husband?
It would help me understand better the situation if you could give me some more information relating to these questions.

thank you

Mina
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Step daughter was raised by my husband mother had 4 kids by different men and the fathers raised them she recently died.She is 21 and no children husband deployed,I think thats what made me ? everything she sleeps with everyone,my husband knows and tried to talk to her but she has chosen to continue and tells him about it all and he acts like everything is fine,I was raised with morals and find this terribly offensive and Question if i really know him if he can find this behavior ok
Expert:  Mina replied 4 years ago.
Thank you this.

From your description I would say that the relationship between them does not sound a healthy daughter-father relationship. It sounds like your husband is in a "friendly" relationship with his daughter and cannot set or keep boundaries in this relationship or see things from a "father's" perspective for that matter. I wonder if he is trying in his mind to overcompensate to his daughter because of her possibly difficult childhood with her mother. Whether you chose to ignore this situation or not it is I am afraid down to your feelings and priorities in life. If he has always shown this tolerance for his daughter's behaviors and encouraged such a "friendly" relationship with her to allow even to discuss about sexual experiences in depth without giving her proper guidance and advice, I am afraid that this might never change.

I feel that it is down to you to set boundaries and rules that you could at least ask to be applied in your home. In terms of his tolerance to her other behaviors I am afraid that you can not do a lot apart from discussing his perception about things and maybe asking him what is his mentality around father-child relationships and whether he is trying to compensate for his daughter's unmet needs with her mother. Try also to engage him in a conversation about his experience of being parented. What was his parents' parenting style, what was their relationship like? This could also give you some clues as to why he encourages this relationship with his daughter. It is very common for couples who have previous experiences in marriages to carry "bagages" from older relationships and sometimes it is difficult to change them. Ultimately it would be your decision whether you can accept this relationship or not.

I hope this helps

Thank you

Mina
Mina, Clinical Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 188
Experience: Working as a Highly Specialist Clinical Psychologist in NHS. Experience in both children and adults
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