In the current relationship I am in I don't think or feel that I am at risk for being abandoned. I will admit that I am not as emotionally "into it" as I was with the other relationship. Many things about this new relationship works, thinking with my head but thinking with my heart I am guarded. This new man, Jim would do about anything for the relationship to work. I struggle between wondering if he is healthy enough to be in one.
I didn't realize how much pain and how much I loved the relationship that I pushed away, Greg, until afterwards. When I realized the pain and regret that I caused myself for 4 years, its been hard to forgive myself and get pass the mistake that I had made.
Soooo that brings me to, Jim. We've been seeing each other a year now. Some things we like together are easy and great. However, I find him to be selfish with his time, and it takes a lot of effort and discussion for him to compromise. It is sometimes like he doesn't hear me until I push the point "VERY HARD" that he disregards XXXXX XXXXX I mention. He focuses on his agenda. When I point it out he does really well and making the effort again. However, its not his natural thing to be accomodating in a relationship.
I find it frustrating and wonder if efforts are enough to overcome is selfishness. Do I hang in there? Or is this.....me jumping ship...he'd like to get married.