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Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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when a woman ends her marriage through her love dying is it

Resolved Question:

when a woman ends her marriage through her love dying is it normal for them to put up a barrier and act very coldly towards their husband?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Michael replied 3 years ago.
It can likely depend on a couple of things: 1) how guilty the woman feels about being responsible for ending the marriage and how much they need to psychologically defend themselves; 2) whether they feel that their husband will attempt to "wear them down" emotionally or not take "no" for an answer if/when the husband tries to press them to get back together and they do not want to.

As per the first point, when we some people feel terribly guilty and anxious about something major they've done and they know others might judge them negatively about, they are able to psychologically defend themselves against this by becoming cold and distant. This approach helps them not have to face what they've done, squarely, by limiting their contact with the person and situation that they have hurt. So the coldness is a way to limit contact, to escape and avoid dealing with the situation as much as possible.

Also, some people find that being cold and distant after a break up serves to more forcefully communicate to the person that there is "no hope, no turning back", if they fear the person will press them to reconcile continually and present them with the "drama" of such repeated pleas. It is a reaction you've seen yourself----a parent tells a child no, but the child won't take no for an answer; so the parent says it louder, more persistently, and then finally walks away from the child and won't talk to them because they are "finished" talking and trying to convince.

Hope this answer addresses your question adequately. If it does not, please alert me to my failure to answer what you wanted addressed.

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Dr. Michael, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2177
Experience: Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
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