I have a family crisis occurring that has been ongoing since Friday 7/16/10 and have been unable to get into see professional in a reasonable time frame. I discovered her 4th step in the AA program (a 'confession to God' on past wrongs) and realized she had had an affair about 6 years ago spanning a 2 year time frame. I immediately prepared to take the appropriate action I deemed fit for myself and my daughter. We have been married for 13 years. My wife's life story was quite horrific up until we met her 24, me at 30. It includes such things as both parent's infidelity and divorce at 10, her rape at 12, violent death of her father at 14, and a myriad of other events included throughout. I never noticed anything odd throughout our life together, except for her uncanny ability to remain extremely calm and level headed during big crisis situations. I thought it odd, but nothing else. We are both professionals with bachelor and greater educations, and her aptitude and IQ levels are quite high. While talking to her regarding this affair, the facts, person involved, etc. became really bizarre and out of what I consider would be the norm. As she told me these things that I was quite shocked with, she did
not seem to realize the bizarre nature of events. I was expecting such motivators as low self esteem, fantasy, dissatisfaction in the marriage, etc. etc. NONE of this was there. It all seems twisted and surreal. I am not naive, and am perfectly capable of handling this in the customary fashion, however, I think this might be something that's not what it appears to be. Opinion? Where to seek help?
Also, is there a stigma of psychiatric treatment, ie. future medical insurance qualification, her sensitive job, etc.