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Sarah
Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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Please explain the fundamentals of someone feeling victimised

Resolved Question:

Please explain the fundamentals of someone feeling "victimised" during the course of litigation instiagted by the "Victim" herself ( aged 50-60) who has lost her case
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Could you please give a little more information with regard to your question. I really don't understand the situation and what you are trying to understand. Tamara
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

" Victim" is a long leaseholder in a building (99 years) who has not paid any service charges for the upkeep of the building yet complainined and sued for Landlord's lack of repairing covenants, Landlord agreed to have works of repair carried out and did so. She them complained they were inadequate and the cost of them was exorbitant and sought huge damages . She lost and was awarded minimal damages. In the UK legal costs " follow the event" ie loser pays them. She has now put in submissions to the court as to why she should not be liable for the Landlord's costs saying amongst other things she has been "a Victim" . Landlord a reasonable chap and been put to enormous legal costs, How do we answer the allegation of "victimisation"?

Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Well, I think that question might be more appropriately addressed from a legal perspective. I can try to answer it from a mental health perspective, but it seems legal might be more appropriate. What do you think?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
It is not legal advice I need but an insight from a psychologist as to why a person should feel "victimised". Why does a person generally perceive themselves as a "victim" ( when there is no actual victimisation at all) and it is all in her mind. I think she may have some sort of obsessive disorder but an insight would be useful
Expert:  Sarah replied 4 years ago.
hello,

I wonder if I can come in here and try to answer your question. As we go through our life, we pick up beliefs about how we perceive the world, dependent upon many things including our personality, our circumstances, our childhood, etc. etc. We might believe we are lucky, contented, unfortunate, etc. you might hear someone say "I'll buy a ticket, but I won't win, because I never do". This is their belief and it belongs in the subconscious mind. If something happens to contradict that belief, then they refuse to change there belief, they simply think it was a fluke, or a miracle, or just a one off. Now some people go through life believing that everything is against them, that everything is negative for them and they too interpret what happens to them in this way. It's like looking through a pair of glasses with a tint of colour in them - you know how we say someone with rose-tinted glasses sees everything in a beautiful, wonderful light - well, someone who believes they are always wronged by others could be seen as wearing a different colour pair of glasses. It doesn't matter how they are treated, they consider themselves to be hard done to. If the person was willing to discuss it, they may be able to recognise where this came from, perhaps they were the youngest or eldest sibling and always felt left out or 'put on' -these a just examples of where they can come from. The person may be able to 'take their glasses off' for a while, but it is likely that if the persons is blamed for something, then the glasses will jam firmly back on, and the phrases that they often come out with will start to be repeated again. So if this person becomes involved in something that is particularly blame-ful, such as a court case, they will certainly have their buttons pushed and the tint in the glasses is likely to become stronger. They are unlikely to listen to Reason or sense because their beliefs are so very strong. It may bring you some comfort to know that these beliefs are often kept in the subconscious mind and the person you are talking of will probably not be aware that she is doing it. It is possible to find a cognitive-behavioural therapist to help the person with identifying when the glasses go on, and to manage and control these situations, trying to take them off and see the world in a less distorted way. However, the person has to want to do is, and unfortunately, no-one else can do this for them. Basically, this is called a victim-schema and you can search for 'schema' related research and information on the Internet for more details. i hope this is helpful. Best Wishes, Sarah
Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience: Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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