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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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Hello, I have suffered from anxiety and depression before,

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Hello, I have suffered from anxiety and depression before, but i have started feeling the following symptoms become stronger for over the last two years or so. I am full of anger. I’ve never physically hurt someone, and on the outside I would be seen many people to be very relaxed and non-confrontational. In my mind I’m starting to fantasise about being in situations where I would physically attack someone or be attacked and although I am sure that I would shy from actual conflict, I am starting to think of ways/actions that would bring me towards potential conflict. I have unstable relationships with family/friends/strangers. With strangers, people outside my friends, if I feel I have been slighted or have been wronged, I feel an anger towards them. I hold grudges against them and can’t seem to get forgive and forget. I feel a hatred for them and in my mind wish for their downfall. I have very few personal friends, outside of my girlfriend and extended family. Over the years, I have cut them off from me, with no justified reason. I also have problems with my family and try to disassociate/become detached mentally from them. I am starting to self-harm again by cutting and I have started to take risks like driving aggressively and taking ‘legal highs’. I forget the dangers and risks in doing this by not thinking about any long-term consequences that may occur, but only thinking about short-lived rush/kicks I get. I'm struggle with trying to look ahead at my long term future. Can you please provide any advice as to what i might be suffering from? Also, I worried about going to my doctors as i dont want to be put on medication. Would talking therapy help me instead? Thank You
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing these problems with your mood. I'm sure this is difficult and frustrating to deal with. First of all, I'm glad that you are recognizing that these thoughts are unhealthy and that some of your behaviors are indicating that you are not doing well emotionally. I really couldn't offer a diagnosis in this venue, but it is certainly possible that you are suffering from depression. However, I think that an exact diagnosis is less important than you seeking help at this point. I can understand your reluctance to take medication, but at some point that may be necessary in order for you to feel better. I would suggest you start, however, with talking with a therapist who can help you explore your anger and your impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. Many of these thing can be helped through traditional talk therapy, esp. if you are willing to work at it and learn how to deal with your negative thoughts and the resulting behaviors. So yes, I think talk therapy would help. Hopefully, that will make enough of a difference that medication won't be necessary. If it turns out that medication might help, however, be open to giving it a try. It really can make a huge difference with the types of issues you are describing.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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