How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Tamara Your Own Question

Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
25965815
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Tamara is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

All what I want is to regain my wife,my family back. I am not

Resolved Question:

All what I want is to regain my wife,my family back. I am not an alcoholist but these combined with frustration, with bad willingness make me an unbereable.All bad things what I saw in my parent's house are now back because of me ,but I hate be agressive, alcoholic, or anti-social behaviour. Because of alcohol, I had the feeling that I am the boss on the house but, the women been, are and will be the No1 on the house! I was a stupid, being so bad with my beloved son and wife. I cheated on her,that make her so unsecure.I beated her (15years ago). I deeply regret all these bad attitudes. I realize that she is my hero resisting so many years(22)with me.I'd removed for ever alcohol, and any cheating options ,away from my mind.I am ready to next step of my life beside her.I want ever-never make her suffer any more because of me. Is this true ,that a women can take out suddenly from her heart all her love feelings even the bad things was happend long time ago?I tried to touch her but she is anoyed about that. She see me that man from times when I was bad.How can I make her forgive all bad moments from our life and make room in her heart for good ones or, for new ones?She is remember only bad moments of our life but good ones are digged deeply in her mind.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry to hear that you are finding yourself in this situation. It sounds like all of this has been difficult for you and your wife. In answer to your question, yes, it is possible for a woman (or a man) to "suddenly" lose their feelings of love for someone who has hurt them repeatedly. But actually, it's not a sudden change that comes out of nowhere - it just feels that way to the other person. The feelings of detachment and loss of love had likely been happening slowly over time, and then one more thing happens, and the feelings are gone. If your wife is at that point, then there is likely nothing you can do to change that. You can't make her forgive you if she isn't open to doing so. And even if she did forgive you, that doesn't mean that she would want to have a relationship with you. All you can do is work at being a better and different person, and hope that over time she will choose to let you back in. But there isn't anything you can do to MAKE that happen.

Best wishes and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience: 20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
Tamara and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you , Tamara!
Do you think is there any chance to start a couple therapy?Also, can she go see a doctor or is this waste of time and money( anyway I am broke)
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Well, I don't think it would necessarily be a waste of time and money to see a therapist. Even if you didn't get back together, it would help you understand better what went wrong, and it would allow both of you to talk about things that are important to you. And I don't see any reason that she needs to see a Dr., unless there is some information here that I'm not aware of. If she is willing to go to therapy, then give it a try. Maybe it will help things. Best wishes. Tamara

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Tamara
Tamara
Psychotherapist
1070 Satisfied Customers
20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified