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Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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Thank you again for your insightful guidance. I had tried to

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Thank you again for your insightful guidance. I had tried to accept your 2nd answer, which was extremely helpful, but there was a billing mix-up (I was on the unlimited program but being charged anyway--now resolved). Your answer rang true about the unconscious mind having answers and acting to protect me. I have always been able to rely on my dreams in times of stress, and am now keeping a journal. My partner is continuing to be supportive, as long as I don't go into an accusatory mode, which shuts down the communication. I'm taking a few steps forward at a time to take care of my responsibilities, and just listening to him. You were spot on when you said his destructive behaviour was triggering a reaction from the past. My whole body was in fight or flight mode. Once 17 yrs. ago my childrens' and my lives were threatened and we literally had to run for our lives. I realize that I have to deal with those reactions, and not overreact to the current situation. Do you have any suggestions for progressive dream work, self hypnosis, or emdr exercises you can do on your own?



Thanks for getting back to me with your question and for sorting out the payment issues.


Well done for all that you are doing - taking it slowly, taking responsibility, taking the time to listen and acknowledging your behaviours (being accusatory) that trigger your partner. Keeping a journal of your dreams is a great way of accessing your subconscious mind, as it tries to make sense of your world through the night. There are lots of books that help you to recognise the symbols of dreams, or you could find the relevant info by searching the internet. A beautifully illustrated example is 'The New Secret Language of Dreams - The Illustrated Key to Understanding the Mysteries of the Unconscious' by David Fontana. (It has a lovely furry, flox cover!) It gives example of dreams and how to interpret them. For example, dreaming about toilets or being naked are about feeling exposed to the world, etc. you can then try to figure out how the symbolic meanings fit with your daily life and consider how you can develop, change or improve such elements. You can get more of a dictionary type book which just gives the explanation in a few words - this one explores in paragraphs. It just happens to be one that I have.


With regards XXXXX XXXXX there are many CD's that you can buy from ebay or perhaps a health shop close to you. Finding one with music that you really enjoy can be great because your brain will learn to relax as soon as you hear it, let alone the words. Try and think of things that you would like answers to as you go to sleep at night - this points the subconscious mind in the right direction as it slips into sleep and you might then be able to analyse your dream, or feel better about the issue in the morning.


EMDR is less useful to do on your own, but you could find out more about EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, which you can definitely do on your own. It involves tapping your body on your meridXXXXX XXXXXnes (we have many and you may find your favourites) in order to allow emotions to be processed away. I have a theory that EMDR and EFT are closely linked, simply because of their similarities. There are lots of sites about EFT some with videos that show you what to do. It involves linking a negative statement with a positive one as you tap, so for example, "Even though I'm anxious, I will feel better soon" so the negative is canceled by the positive. Sometimes you can actually feel the tingles in your body as the muscles and tissues let the anxiety go.


I hope this helps you out a little more, take it easy, you are doing great. Best Wishes, Sarah



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