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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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Can you help me to eliminate thoughts of my husband with his

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Can you help me to eliminate thoughts of my husband with his previous wife who is now dead. I have the impression that she was very active sexually and although my husband insists that I am sexy, I have this idea that I cannot match-up and I feel this may be stopping me from having an orgasm. I know it seems childish to envy someone who is no longer with us, but I can't stop visualising them together and her getting orgasms all the time. I am 72 and my husband is 74. We are very much in love and all other aspects of our life together is just great.
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

One of my teachers used to drill into our brains that the biggest sex organ is the one between our ears, and I think you've found this out. You can't eliminate a thought, but you can move it past yourself very quickly with practice using this technique:

Intrusive Thought Elimination

When you have an intrusive, unwanted thought, understand that you can't control what pops into your head, but you can control what your mind does with it once it's there. This is a big key to success. Understanding that, you choose a positive thought - one that brings up a good feeling in you. Picture it in your mind and sit with it for a minute to enhance the positive feeling, and give this picture/feeling an affirmation that goes with it. IE: picture a warm walk on a sunny day and say to yourself, "I'm on the path to recovery and I know I'm going to make it."

Every single time one of the unwanted thoughts pops up in your mind, exchange it for your chosen thought. Do this every single time no matter if you have to do it 100 times an hour. Do it without fail. What you'll accomplish is to re-train your brain and you'll see that your intrusive thoughts will trigger your chosen thought, which will give you relief.

My best to you.

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