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Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
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Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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I have a sexual addiction and have been in recovery for 3 months.

Resolved Question:

I have a sexual addiction and have been in recovery for 3 months. My wife and I have been arguing that I am lying about my past exploits. I think mainly because sometimes she wants to know and then she tells me to stop. Then she wants to leave me. Would it be better for both of us, if I just try to take a moral inventory of the past years of our relationship and disclose all I remember, then ask to leave it in the past?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 4 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

As tempting as it is DO NOT do your moral inventory with your wife. I can guarantee you that as much as she says she wants to know, she won't be able to handle it in the way that it is intended, and you will only make things worse. Work with your sponsor on your inventory, and tell you wife that you are working your program and that you are not sure yet what information is relevant to your relationship and what isn't. Assure her that you are working on that with your sponsor. Then continue to work your program, and don't give her any more reasons to not trust you. Ask her to leave it in the past now - because that's what you are trying to do. But whatever you do, DO NOT tell her everything, at least until you have had a lot more time to get into your recovery, and do your own work with your sponsor.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1072
Experience: 20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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