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Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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My marriage is not what I would like it to be and this pervades

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My marriage is not what I would like it to be and this pervades my whole life. A happy family is all I've ever wanted. My husband is increasingly withdrawn; he says I've never attached myself to him--that I'm more committed to my parents and siblings than to him and our children. I feel like I cannot make him feel secure and loved in our marriage so that he will open up to me. I cry about this very often. I worry about the effects on our children.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry that you are having these problems in your relationship. It sounds like this is very upsetting for you. You certainly deserve to have a happy and fulfilling marriage. You say that your husband will not open up to you, and that you can't make him feel secure and loved. I think, however, that he has pretty directly told you why that isn't happening - he feels you are more committed to your parents and siblings than to him and your children. If you want a more fulfilling marriage, I think you are going to have to take him seriously and look at this. Your husband and children need to be your primary relationships and your primary commitment. If they aren't then you aren't going to have the marriage you want. I would suggest you and your husband go to some marriage counseling so the two of you can further explore this issue and how it is affecting your relationship. He doesn't feel like a priority, and you are going to have to open yourself to how he feels and take it seriously - even if it isn't what you want to hear.

best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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