Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.
Yes, it is common for NPD parents to find ways to keep their children victimized and stifled. It's about entitlement. When NPD parents have children, they don't see them as individuals, they see them as their own personal sources of glory and gratification. Often more like a pet or a toy that they treat badly. They get angry and lash out and they want the person "gone"...but not for long. They feel entitled to abuse you and that you should just take what they dish out.....because they own you. A child's need for his parents almost guarantees that you'll suck up to their demands for many years...trying harder to 'be good' and all that. Its very generic, which makes it all the more insulting to the child. To work so hard to please a person laying carrots before you, only to find they had no investment other than sport, control and boredom.
It is a form of brainwashing...like you were raised in a small cult. (cult leaders typically are NPDs). It takes a long time to live your way out of the old patterns, but it can be done, and is every day by children of alcoholics and personality disorders. It looks like a Gordian Knot
, but like the most famous one, it can be cut with a broad stroke
Reflective time away from the personality disordered and with good sources of reality testing and feedback is what you should be looking for at this phase of the game. You need time to find your own version of what is real, important, and important to you.
Breathe. Discover more about your likes and dislikes...you can start with food and music and colors...clothes and locations. Focus on yourself and explore your own world without their influence.
Hang in there, James - you can do this.