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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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i am only aroused sexually if i take the role as slave...bound,

Resolved Question:

i am only aroused sexually if i take the role as slave...bound, gagged ,tortured. and i am not aroused by what is called normal sex?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 4 years ago.
Hello:

I understand that you are only aroused by playing a masochistic role. I am not clear about your question, though. What are you asking?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
why is it that i seek to be treated like a slave stripped. bound , gagged and tortured as a way for sexual gradification?
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 4 years ago.
Hello again:

There are a number of possibilities for this, depending on how you were treated by your parents, your early sexual experiences, your temperament, your interaction with your partner. It is hard to say exactly why.

When did this behavior start? Were you able to become aroused in the normal way at any time in your life? Did you watch a lot of porn that was sado-masochistic?

Edited by Carol Kryder LMFT on 7/17/2010 at 2:35 AM EST
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
normal sex when in my teens, but i was always shy about being naked. but even as a teen i always played bondage games,which in my adult life lived the alternitive lifestyle as a bdsm slave
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 4 years ago.
Hello again:

It sounds that you learned to become aroused by bondage games at the same time you were developing your sense of sexuality. This continued into your adult life as a preference for masochism which you have already associated with arousal due to your teen experiences. Children's brains are still developing in their teens and profound experiences, such as sexual experiences have a significant impact on their development. It is similar to imprinting of baby ducks on their mother. I think that is what happened to you. I wouldn't worry about it, unless this is interfering with your life in some way. Is it?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
no only that when someone trys to start a normal relationship . even if i like them very much i will not persue it. i have always woundered why that it feels normal to go to a sm party where i am stripped , handcuffed , shackeledd and gagged a led around on a leash, fine being naked but to shy to take my shirt off at the pool?
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 4 years ago.
It is because you have been imprinted on the notion that sex can only be enjoyed the way you learned as a teen. You have compartmentalized your sexuality and your other values, such as taking your shirt off at the pool, comes from a completely different part of you. When you are in the "sex box" you act the way you learned you are supposed to act when being sexual. When you are in the "social box" you act the way you act in other areas of your life. You are inhibited socially, but uninhibited sexually.
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience: APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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Carol Kryder LMFT
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APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience