I cannot give you a categorical answer to that question because individuals will take their own personal view on the situation; other than you are not a 'risk to anybody' unless you have offended against adults as well - you are a risk to 'children' and children will be present in that working environment.
I totally understand that you are trying so hard, that your family are standing by you and you have placed your own children in good hands, so seriously well done for all of those things. I cannot praise you highly enough for trying and I wish there were more people (who have offended) who have the courage that you are showing to change your situation.
I suggest that you think through how your job may or may not bring you into contact with children and show that you are willing to adapt to avoid this risk - do you work in a pool area? do you work in the children's club? Do you have supervisory responsibilities with children? These are clearly situations where the social welfare and therapist must consider breaking confidentiality. You could take your thoughts to your therapist on Friday so that s/he can see how much thought you have given this and how seriously you are taking it.
I hope this email is seen as supportive but I am also going to be blunt - as you are well aware, children are not taken into hotels to be offended against and if such a thing were to happen, and the incident went to court, the therapist and the social services would be brought in for questioning - where they would have to declare that they were aware of the situation - their credibility would be destroyed and they would probably lose their jobs. We have seen it on the news many times when they have been in this situation.
You have done really well to ask for support - I can imagine that this has not been easy. However; you, alone, are responsible for your behaviours (as we all are) and for managing your risk levels - your risk levels should not be managed by social services and a therapist (ie you are allowed to work in an environment where there are children without anyone telling your employer) so that you can fulfill your need to support your family. Although supporting your family is of utmost importance for you (understandably so), I believe it is not important enough to allow you to be in this environment where children are around, as your behaviour brings them a potential risk. I do hope you can understand what I am trying to say here. There are many people who have to change their jobs for many reasons and still have to support their families - this reason is critical - both for your future (you may risk a prison sentence) your family's future (they need you to provide for them) and for the well-being of the children who are simply visiting a hotel (the effects on victims is massive.)
Please bear with me whilst I try to offer you a different perspective (and I'm not trying to be funny) - if a man who is cruel to animals works in a vet, and tells the relevant services that he wants to change his cruel behaviour, and allows his pets to be cared for elsewhere, but he says he can't change his job because he needs the money to support his family, what would your advice to him be? How is he helping his own cause?
To follow through your good intentions to change your behaviour, I can see two options available to you - allow your employers to be brought into the situation so that you are allowed to adapt your work roles so that you are NEVER allowed to be with children alone OR make a deal with your therapist that you will search for different work (are there child-free hotels?) whilst you are doing therapy.
I realize you are only just beginning therapy, but one of the things you will need to look at during therapy will be how to manage your behaviours - how to avoid situations where you may have risky thoughts, feelings or behaviours - and that means not being alone with children. So if your job involves being with children, you will be expected to show your willingness to change this - which may involve changing jobs.
If you were asked the question 'what would you rather do, support your family, or increase the risk of offending against a child?' what would your answer be? what are the consequences and impact of each? Can you work (support your family) without being a risk to a child, by changing your work environment? Can you afford to put yourself in a high risk environment and to risk offending against a child and then still support your family? Where do your responsibilities lie for yourself, your family, the children out there?
I hope I have given you food for thought. I am offering these questions as things for you to think about, not for you to send the answers to. I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX is helpful to you.
Edited by Sarah on 7/14/2010 at 10:04 PM EST