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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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My husband and I just moved to another state, about 600 miles

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My husband and I just moved to another state, about 600 miles from our hometown. He moved here for a job and is supporting us full time. I am now 3 months pregnant. His supervisor is still saying he's on probation even though it was up June 1st. He is going to talk with him about it tomorrow. I deal with anxiety and depression issues and have not been able to work part or full time and just have a small side business that I can manage. In the state we were in before, I was fired from one job because I was too slow at stocking shelves. Now I feel I can't work anywhere. My husband had a few part-time jobs and this is his first full time job. There have been a lot of personnel issues at the facility he works in now. When he first started there, he said it was the worst run facility he's ever seen. He felt the previous management left him a mess and he's been trying to clean everything up. He puts in tons of hours and works his butt off. I'm just so upset because I am really craving stability and security and have been for the last two years and I'm just not getting what I want. I so much want security, I need routine. I also need to feel like my husband and are successful and I'm so afraid he's going to get let go. I can't stop worrying. Please advise.
HelloCustomer& Welcome to Just Answers.

You're in a tough situation because you're having anxiety, but you're also having very real issues that you can't avoid. General anxiety comes from the overproduction of chemicals in your body...your fight or flight system gets triggered too often. Life anxiety and worries come from life situations. When you put them together, it's a tough road. Add your pregnancy and husband out of town and you really have a HUGE load to carry.

The good news is that you sound very realistic about it and level headed. You also know what you want and need: stability and a routine for yourself. Here is what I recommend:

Make yourself a chart on paper or in excel that lists all the tasks you need to do each day down one side and have the dates go across the top. Check off everything that you do...this does wonders for structure and reminds you of how much you are accomplishing every day. It also acts like a to-do list and gives routine.

Do what you can about anxiety in your body: exercise, eat right, stay away from caffeine and get regular sleep. This is very important and every little bit helps. When your body has a routine, it settles down and trusts you more.

Talk with your doctor about this. Depression and anxiety are medical issues and both put you at a greater risk for post partum risk that needs to be monitored.

Learn how to control your thoughts and feelings through CBT. Here is a self help link that will show you very quickly how to settle yourself out and divert spiraling anxiety.

Keep talking about it - venting helps. Separate what is real from what you feel and remember that feelings aren't facts....they're only tools to use in your decisions. Take it one hour or one day at a time and you'll get through this. It does you no good to get all the worry up about him being let go.....if it happens, then face it on that day. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself batty. Use the CBT when you get anxious. You'll make it through.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

My best to you.

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