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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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For Anna, Whats thre real issue I guess a big part of the

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For Anna,
Whats thre real issue? I guess a big part of the problem for right now is becuase how isolated I have become. The temptation to shack up with bpd gf is still really there. Anyway, I wanted to write and say that even though you may be surprised about me buying into the Mr. Ord deal so quickly is infact no a surprise to me. I knew from when I was eleven that there was something wrong and missing, and felt it all the time before that. I have studied psychology in some elective papers at college and used to study the enclyclopedias in school before that regarding the brain and things about disorders and depression etc. If there is still an curious wonder then please tell me.
However, I am only now wondering about this vulnerability that you kept saying Obviousy I've built up some hard mechanisms but the reason they are now failing is that I havent had anyone like this gf before who is so relentlessly gives a crap and cares for me. Either I am vulnerable in the jungle and dluded by her bpd or the npd mom has disturbed my sense of trust and thats the only thing thats wrong? I guess that for me to decide but I feel both hers and my sense of urgency to decide on an outcome. I'm 37 shes 30! Thanks again
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.
Hey James,

What you say about your research answers my questions about how you were able to incorporate so much information that contained emotional land mines so quickly. But I wonder if the confusion about the gf is because even though you knew something wasn't right, having it all put on the table and spelled out can be very emotionally unsettling and thus your vulnerablilty.

So you've got the vulnerability coming from a few angles: the pathology itself your mom showered on the family, Having it all come together with a name and outside validation, BPD's love bombs, Your relative passing, & your general sense of unsettledness.

Your note also reminds me that you use your intellect to figure things out, which is common in folks raised with unconnected, indirect emotions flying around all the time without being acknowledged. I think one of the things that confuses you is BPD's intense emotions. She LOVELOVELOVEs you. Then not. You come closer to her and the world is a wonderful place. Then not. Both are intense. When you can't pick one, it means more testing is needed and more time. Don't be pushed into a decision...this isn't going to take that long to figure out. You've got the time you need.

Either I am vulnerable in the jungle and deluded by her bpd or the npd mom has disturbed my sense of trust and thats the only thing thats wrong?

I don't know if this is really an either/or statement. I'm going to vote for 2 yeses on that one. :)

Take you time. Breathe. Don't depend on her to meet all your needs....get out of your isolation...go on another mission trip or something. Only drink coffee in a coffee shop...got to a gym and give eye contact to 3 people per visit. This is your life we're talking about here...you've got time.

Anna
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