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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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Hi Anna, I had a two hour conversatin with BPD ex gf and

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Hi Anna,
I had a two hour conversatin with BPD ex gf and woke up in the morning feeling insane, to the point of excruciating mental agony. I ranga friend at 5.00 am to help me overcome it. I remember you saying that 'they which make you feel insane = bpd'. I feel I needed to report this to you to confirm the problem and ask for help again. I dont even know what to say to her anymore and shes expecting me to fly over there for the weekend.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

Hey Aurora....sorry this is going on, but I'm really glad that you called a friend and got some help and reality testing. It does sound like you got an injection of insanity, which anyone who had a 2 hour conversation with your ex would feel. She's very potent.

Have you printed out or copy & saved our conversations? If not, it would be good for you to do that and have them to read when you start to lose it. You can read them and feel grounded in the reality versus the swirly feeling you get after contact with her.

You've been having a relapse. It happens, but it's a mistake that needs correction. It's a mistake to keep breaking the NC, and certainly to fly over to see her. Admit your mistake and try to repair yourself. You're trying to work out the pain of the past by interacting with this gal. She can't repair the wounds of your childhood...no matter how seductive and alluring it seems. You've got to remember that you lived for years with your boundaries being violated, so you're a little slow to catch on when it's happening to you....it was normal for you growing up. It just makes it hard for you to resist the siren's call, but you'll get better with time.

Think of this experience as a hangover from an emotional binge, and learn from it. Connect what made it happen to how it felt so that you can use it to make choices with in the future. Your experience in this will help you grow and know more about yourself. Take the gains and get back on track. You can do this.

Be gentle with yourself and remember that you're not insane. When you're detoxed, you think clearly and make perfect sense. You're not crazy.

Hang tough and put one foot in front of the other. Keep in contact with your friends and take a deep breath. Then exhale.

Anna
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Great you are online. Thanks for your empathy and understanding, I need that very much. I am increasingly aware of just how vulnerable I am since discovering Mrs. Ordinary people...that was a very delayed realisation. I will make a print out with those responses. I'm currently trying to end a texting match , she wont take no for an answer. No need to reply but if anything comes to mind let me know. Regards, James.
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.

I'm glad that I could help you out, James. Honestly, I thought you "took in" the Mrs. OP stuff waaaay too easily, and haven't been surprised by this reconnection with the BPD "ex". You are very very vulnerable....be careful and take it slow.

You wanna know how to end a texting fight? One Finger One Button. (an offshoot of The Sniper's Creed) It's the same way you end a phone fight. Turn it off. Put it in the trunk of your car if you must, but step away from the cookie jar or you're going to go nuts.

Take care!
Anna
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

done! cheers. Im going for a drink. Cool

 

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