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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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My name is Deborah. I have been married for 26 years in which

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My name is Deborah. I have been married for 26 years in which I have had to suffer mental, physical and verbal abuse. I left started to receive psycho-therapy 2 1/2 years ago so as to build up me self esteem and try to become a person again. I have succeeded in doing this, only to be put down on numerous occasions and told that i will never come right. My husband on the other hand was diagnosed bipolar/borderline pshcopath by a psychiatrist, attended sessions but does not want to accept the fact that there is this problem.. I removed myself from the marriage 3 months ago but het still insists on us seeing each other and the psychiatrist seems to agree that i should spend more time with my husband as he is not ready to give up on the marriage. I have also said that if he receives the help that he needs and faces the reality of what he is about then the posibility is great that we can try again. I am just so scared that as soon as i decide to move back that the abuse will start all over again. I need to be certain that i do not need to be afraid for my life and still maintain the freedom in my marraiage which i have come to know. My usband is very domineering and everthing has to go according to his rules. He is antisocial although loves to entertain and be entertaing. He will never bind to a relationship and always finds something to use to get out of a friendship because he cannot cope with it. Please help me i am at my wits end and suicidal just thinking that i will be at the mercy of this man aain. Plese help me
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

Don't go back. If you start to feel like you want to come back, read this article:
Rules of The Game. Print it out and read it 10 times a day if you start to feel weaker. This is just one part of the cycle. Abusive men RARELY get better and stay that way, and the ones that do most often revert soon after they get you back under their control.

Trust your gut on this: it's screaming at you. You do not need to be a part of his treatment plan. Something has been miscommunicated by the psychiatrist or how it was taken in, or what it meant. Don't put yourself at the mercy of this man. Why in the world would you do that? Really think about that. Why would YOU do that? What would be in it for you?

I recommend that you not give up all that you've gained. Your husband will seduce another victim soon enough. Trust your gut. Carry a copy of The Rules with you and read it and read it and read it any time you feel temptation.

My best to you.

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